Should I stop doing this stuff?
Been with my bf for almost 5 years now. Naturally, I am a person who helps. I do what I can when asked. My bf on the other hand, you have to BEG him to do things he doesn’t want to do. Could be simple, could be difficult. If he doesn’t want to do it he absolutely won’t, which I feel it totally fine. But sometimes it can feel like I’m over doing it bc he’s not doing it at all. For example, I’ll wake up in the morning and take my dogs outside. If my bf is up and asks if I can make him a drink while I’m up, I will. But if the roles are switched more than likely it will not happen. It feel like more often than not I’m ok with doing things I don’t feel like doing if it helps him but he won’t do the same for me. I voiced to him this morning that it can feel like I’m doing too much and he told me to stop doing things when he asks. Should I just say no? Just bc he wouldn’t do it for me? Should he be more willing?
@wittyCranberry6510
Hi wittyCranberry,
I've been guilty of this with my wife. Personally, I think we men can become self-absorbed within our own lives (and heads), and have trouble multitasking throughout the day. Now, I'm not saying this is a good excuse to not reciprocate the favors, but we can be oblivious to these acts of kindness. If you stopped doing these favors for him and focus on yourself, he'll get the message, and hopefully stop taking you for granted. Remember, a relationship is a two-way street and you both need to put in time and energy to make it work.
Hi, I have to agree with thr previous reply. Maybe not say "no" but just slowly stop doing what you have been and see if he notices. He probably will. This is a big point that you are now putting in the effort that he is. He doesn't like like it, so maybe he will improve. Good luck!