The guy I am dating dated a transwoman before
Look I know this is a very controversial topic, but I am dating a man who recently disclosed that he previously was in a relationship before with a transwoman. I told him that yes it is his choice and I have no business with it, but currently it’s eating me deep inside. I am someone who would never date someone who is bi, I just think there are lots of complications with it. I don’t necessarily know what he identifies as. It just unsettles me a lot, I am not sure if it’s something I can be totally comfortable with.
He’s a very sweet guy and I do like him… I just don’t know how to approach the subject with him. Because now I’ve got so many questions and it’s building a lot of insecurities. (Not to mention another issue I’d like to bring up in regards to our sex life).
Look I know probably a lot of people would not be happy with what I posted but as much as everyone can have a choice of what they want to identify or who would they like to be with, I think this is something that I can too have my own choices and feelings validated.
I really need help how to confront this issue as I don’t want to fall deeper than I am already in 😕
@blueOwl9565 I think it's okay that anxieties are coming up (maybe are they attracted to me, will they cheat, do they want something extra sexually, etc.). You're human, and it's okay to be anxious and reflect on if you are a good match, but also be mindful that some fears are based on misinformation about bi people. Bi individuals aren't more likely to cheat and many choose to have long-term monogamous relationships. I think it would be okay to say that you really like him but it's a new experience for you, and you're working through understanding better.
Hello! It would be easier to help you if you gave more information. What do you mean by saying that you would never date a bi person? It's okay to know our limits and recognize situations we don't feel comfortable in, but this seems like something worth working on. You don't need your partner to be straight to get along well, and your insecurities don't come from their sexual orientation but from something more about you than them. In any case it might be useful to let your partner know how you feel about it, he could reassure you in some way. If you would like to deepen this discussion, feel free to send me a message.
@blueOwl9565 I can understand that it's a complicated topic and could bring up anxieties, but I would recommend doing some research about bisexuality and the stereotypes there. Obviously, you aren't obligated to date anybody you don't want to, but maybe think about why it bothers you. Someone can be bi and still be monogamous; it's a stereotype that they are more likely to cheat. Who the person dated in the past shouldn't matter if they are choosing to be with you now.
