This really sucks. I'm trying really hard to make this relationship work.

I have been in terrible relationships in my past. I have dealt with so much from those toxic relationships. I stayed single for 4 years. Then I got on *** just for some gaming buddies and met this one boy who I promised myself I wouldn't fall for, it was just someone friendly. But as time went on, we started talking more and playing video games. Him and his friend, who he invited to play with us, would usually ask me questions. One they asked if I had ever slept with someone, I answered honestly and said yes but I didn't want to do that again because I'm Catholic and I want to wait until marriage. So he's know that since even before we started talking like that. I have toxic tendencies that have also ruined previous relationships due to always being cheated on, etc. I have a lot of trust issues and I get mad over simple things, etc. But with this relationship, I have tried to become a better person. A better girlfriend/fiance. There are things I get mad about easily that my current fiance does that I bit my tongue because I don't want to do what I've done in the past like guilt trip him for doing said thing. Or get mad that he's out with friends with a girl that I think he's messing around with (he's been honest with me so I don't have any reason to suspect he's cheating on me) so I try to bit my tongue and not say anything when he is out with his friends. I have gone to therapy to work on those habits and on myself. And since I am Catholic, the not having sex thing until marriage is very hard. I have been wanting to work with him together to get past that because I'm willing to try to work together on something like that. He doesn't see it that way and thinks it's only hard for him not having sex since he's a "guy". And he said it's easier for me because I have something to help guide me and I have a reason to not have sex so it's harder for him. But I don't think he really has any clue what I go through. Every time we are cuddling watching tv on his bed and he starts making out with me, how I am just itching to have sex with him but I know I can't. We have had sex before though.