Told me to wait
My ex and I have been broken up for over 10 months but we never left each other alone , he has been going through a lot of mental health issues for a while now and made it very clear that he didn’t want me but I still stuck around everyday and supported him and help take care of him because I love him so much, and then he told me he had to go to a inpatient facility for a couple of months and he asked me to wait for him , we have no contact , and I feel so confused about it because all of a sudden he wants me to wait , I really love him and want to be with him again but I’m just really confused
@reservedPenguin6652
The choice is up to you when you broke up ( not really if you were still spending time) did he break up thinking he did not want you to have to deal with his issues?
he must have decided to get help with his issues ....i would think waiting for someone you Love to get better should be worthwhile.
When we were together he broke up with me more than 15 times , and when it officially ended he told me he didn’t have feelings for me anymore , and that he only sees me as a friend . He broke up with me because he didn’t feel the same way as I did then all of a sudden he asks me to wait ( which of course I am ) but it’s just very confusing because he said he moved on
@reservedPenguin6652,
when people are not in a good place they can act in a way that does not reflect who they truly are.
Actions are just that, actions. Words are just that, words.
We tend to put too much happened emphasis on acts and words and not on who someone really is.
Keep the door open, do not go sit and wait for him though.
Use this moment to focus on you. To take care of you. Go with the flow, one step at the time. You lead your life, he leads his. You walk your path, he walks his. And your paths might cross again, or not.
I really do love him, I will always keep the door open and I will continue to focus on me. But I hope it’s not selfish to say i hope our paths cross again
@reservedPenguin6652,
there is nothing wrong with having hope. I still hope my to be ex-wife and I will reconnect one day. She wants to become close friends. I'm not ready for that.
Don't cling on to hope however. He is not fixed after being inpatient, and the aftermath, assuming it helped, might take a long time. Months, longer. Or it might not have helped.
Don't bet on the future, don't bet on an unpredictable outcome. Don't focus on a situation that you have no control over.
Don't jump on him any time he reaches out. It's good to let him know you care but take care of you first.
People with mental problems can really suck all the energy out of you. The keywords are boundaries and self compassion. You first!
@reservedPenguin6652
@reservedPenguin6652
I think you’re probably the closest person that he has that resembles true friendship and unconditional love. While he does not seem to have romantic feelings for you any more (since you said in one of your responses that he doesn’t want you any more/ has moved on) he still appreciates what it is to have a loyal friend who loves him and supports him. Especially if he is someone who has many hardships and emotional/psychological struggles; he probably can see value in having someone like you in his life who is always supportive and has his best interests at heart, even if it is decidedly not as a partner.
Right now in inpatient care, he might feel more vulnerable and isolated than usual- so it’s not unexpected that he would reach out to the closest person to him again for that familiarity, for that support. Of course he would want the reassurance of you being there when he comes out. So when he told you to ‘wait for him’ I don’t think it necessarily means he has any romantic intentions. Honestly if someone broke up with you 15 times ; then even if that person wanted to get back together after having just left inpatient care and going through a traumatic period in their lives - at best the situation would seem precarious and rash. A relationship under those circumstances would seem more reflexive (like a reaction to fear of loneliness or clinging to the nearest person because we can’t stand our own company any longer) rather than conscious, we’ll thought out, and positively motivated.
@reservedPenguin6652 sorry you're going through that i think in time you will find someone else if you keep putting yourself out there and move on from him then you can be free and happy.
I’m just confused about everything I don’t know if I should put my life on hold
