Toxic mess.

I just want to share a little about my last relationship. I need some help and support on what the hell I'm doing and what I need to do. Please be blunt with me.

My ex and I met about 4 years ago. It was such a great beginning, well I thought. He was doing drugs behind my back, was using daily. I begged him and begged him to stop. I understand now that it isn't that easy. He was pulled over with me in his car, meth pipe in pocket and a sack. He was arrested, I was not. I have never had issues with drugs, despised them because of family members being addicted to whatever. He was in jail for 5 months. I found out I was pregnant by him, I had gotten an abortion (please keep this opinion to yourself if it's anything bad). He got out of jail, cheated on me a lot. Gas lit me, manipulated me, told me everything I wanted to here. He lived in my house, never paid a bill or had to lift a finger. Kept cheating. I eventually told him to move out and that we were done. He refused, cops were involved and where I live you can't just kick someone out. Had to go through the eviction process. They denied me. I was also denied for a PPO against him. I explained in the paperwork everything, that I was raped by him. I was uncomfortable. I had to completely move out, get a new place and he still tried to move in with me. I don't understand that type of brain. Now I'm all messed up from this. I feel crazy.