Two years of reverting back to hatred, jealousy, and anger.

I was at a low point as it was in April 2019. I was reclusive, dropped out of high school, barely showered, or went outside. I met someone on Omegle who didn’t even speak the same language as me and lived across the world, yet somehow we managed. Her and I remained friends for some time. But she started showing interest in me, despite her having a boyfriend at the time. She told me she was in love with me, and I began to have feelings for her, she was incredibly sweet to me, but we went through this pattern of her loving me then wanting to stay with him and being cold to me. It was dizzying and I couldn’t bear it. Being in a bad place as it was I attempted t**ing my l**e and ending up in the hospital, leading up to her saying sorry but taking it back right after I left. She got in contact with my best friend, because she was ‘worried’ about me. That’s really the gist of it. I’ve felt nothing but hatred and animosity towards her, not to mention jealousy, especially because she’s happy and has found someone, while I’m stuck here barely able to get out of bed in the morning. If anyone at all is able to help me, please reach out.