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Unsure about the future.

User Profile: SwapnilChougule
SwapnilChougule June 18th, 2022

I recently started talking to one of my close friend. She's my family friend and we started flirting with eachother for 7 months now. initially everything was good and we were making progress. We both treated this as trying things out with eachother and to see where this goes. She agreed to try things and wanted to take things slow .We made good progress up until March. We used to regularly text and both felt excited to talk to eachother. But after that I started to feel that she's not talking to me as she used to. Out communication reduced and this made me a little worried. I got irritated and one day i just asked her about it. Now i made the mistake i didn't actually ask her but kinda questioned her about it which may have offended her. But from there on i just feel that everything is just going downhill. We cleared things up and also i apologised, even she did too. But it just feels that the initial spark and attraction between us is lost. We used to talk about getting married to eachother and discuss our living conditions but now she's trying to play very safe and tells me that I shouldn't expect so much as she doesn't have feelings for me yet. I think i got very attached very quickly to her and now I am not sure whether this is going to succeed or not. We both started being unsure about this and now i kinda of have some feelings for her but i guess she stayed at same place. I'm thinking of taking a break by myself and check my own feelings for this as i think this will help her to have some space from me and i won't bother her everyday. Also I'll not get addicted to this. Even though I'm not sure i love her or not but the fear of loosing her is definately present.


I would appreciate some guidance as this is my very first relationship kind of thing and how would i work this out.


Thank you

2
User Profile: barncat
barncat June 18th, 2022

@SwapnilChougule- you are brave and need to be acknowledged for sharing your situation, Since this is your first relationship I am guessing you are relatively young. First love emotions are intense and it doesnt surprise me that there was discussion about marriage. I would recommend you research about relationships, the stages of attraction, and how feelings evolve through different phases. The spark you talk about is part of the early phases. Sparks only last for so long then either evolve into a slow burning fire or they go out. It is part of the natural process. And congratulations for each of you recognizing you may need space to decide your future.
Be easy on yourself, being vulnerable to love is crucial as we move through life. Hugs to you.

1 reply
User Profile: SwapnilChougule
SwapnilChougule OP June 18th, 2022

Hi... thank you for your help. I'm actually 25 ..so not very young I'll say but still a late bloomer in terms of relationship so i think it evens out that. Yes I'll definitely look into relationship and how it evolves.

Thanks again.

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