Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Validation

User Profile: DynamicAbyss2121
DynamicAbyss2121 May 17th, 2021

Is it healthy to have some expectation of validation from your partner? Is it healthy to expect consistent validation, or is that a toxic thing to expect?

1
User Profile: Sventek
Sventek May 17th, 2021

@DynamicAbyss2121

We know that the typical root cause of constant validation is approval-seeking behavior and is deeply embedded in a person's self-esteem. This can be a result of a sense of inferiority, attachment disorder, or from a faulty upbringing, cultural influences, lack of education, or lack of life experience, perhaps being sheltered or overprotected at a young age.

Either way, it's toxic and rather exhausting to endure as a partner in a relationship.

Many relationships do not survive the constant requests for validation.

There are pathways to correcting those issues though. This can be done through a licensed trained psychotherapist and perhaps cognitive-based therapy. There are also a few references below that you may find helpful.

References

Kary Hall, P. (2012, February 3). The Emotionally Sensitive Person. Retrieved from PsychCentral: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/emotionally-sensitive/2012/02/levels-of-validation/

Lieberman, M. D. (2013). Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired To Connect. New York: Crown Publishers.

Tjepkema, L. (2019). Top 5 Social Media Predictions for 2019.Retrieved from Emarsys: https://www.emarsys.com/resources/blog/top-5-social-media-predictions-2019/