We’re so lost

I been with my girlfriend/ ex girlfriend for almost 3 years now and it seem like everything that could go wrong is going wrong. I just need some advice to figure out if it’s just me, her or just really time to let go. We have every problem one can thing of from communication to finances and it draining us both. I’ve been with her 3 years and with a lesbian couple she 25 and I’m 21 I met her when I was 18 and she was 22 and she was just perfect I fell in love with her and I just knew I’d spend my life with because that’s all I ever wanted we to be with one person have sex with one person marry that same person and make it though whatever god may have in store for us. She worked at the post off she very responsible and she had been since I met her me on the other hand ive been trying to join the military and get us away from our small town since I’ve meet her but I’ve had a couple hick ups but I didn’t give up and I’m closer than I’ve even been in these three years. Being that I haven’t been able to get us out of the situation of being stuck in this small town and her really not being open about her sexuality and me not being financially where she want me to be it has caused a huge strain on our relationship and caught our communication to drag. She really doesn’t have any friends of family and I stopped dealing with friends once I met her because honestly I wanted to spend all my time with her I just loved her that much and as far as my family their really not poop in all honesty. Just in reality it just me and her I’ve got her and she has me... kinda... this past year our relationship really turned for the worst being that we don’t have our own place and I don’t have any money and I haven’t left for the military yet and I do everything I can to help her save money and do my best in every way I can to keep her happy but it’s just not enough I try not to ask her for anything because one she makes me feel bad and say things like “you’re not up to par with me” and “you’re supposed be able to hold you own weight” and it hurt because I’d do anything for her but she came from a foundation where she feeling like all she has is her self and she can’t depend one anyone and everyone is supposed hold their one weight and I was raised by my grandparents who raised most of their grandchildren and I’m just go use to giving even if it mean I don’t have anything left because if I love you I don’t thing about the consequences of being broke until we’ll I’m broke and not on top of that every conversation we have turn in the a argument we don’t know how to talk anymore. So recently she broke up with so she can better her self she stated but she wants me to her her friend and she still want us to get married when I join the army so she can get away because that had been our plan and I’m okay with that because I love her and I’d anything to keep her happy. But it sucks for me because she just get to break up with me and she thinks it okay because bettering her self and still dealing with me but I don’t think it fair that you can just leave your relationship and want to return to it when it get easier I think of it I as if you can deal with bad that come with me how can you just have me once it all good again. No matter how many times I was unhappy or thigh about leaving her I never did. And we just so many problems right now because it’s just us and we have no one to “talk to” but each other. Please helps us