Why Can’t I Trust Her?
Was seeing a girl for a couple months. It was a weird time in my life and I lost interest and kinda ended it. Fast forward 6 months and we’re back. I’m hung up on anything she might’ve done in our time apart. I know that’s not fair but it’s how I am. Now she says she told me everything and she missed me the whole time and couldn’t stop comparing people to me. She’s told me about a couple make outs after dates. She told me she didn’t sleep with anyone though. I asked her why not lie since she knows another answer would upset me and she said she wouldn’t want to start a relationship on the basis of a lie. I haven’t caught her lying or anything so I shouldn’t doubt. But I know one of the dates mentioned the word “hookup”. Now that could just be a make out like she already told me about. She has said multiple times she didn’t sleep with anyone. Again, no reason to actually doubt her. She’s let me sit down twice and ask questions and answered everything. But I can’t stop thinking about it now and wondering. And I know I need to ask her again but I don’t want to push her away. And then the problem is if that answer does change, it means she lied and idk what I can trust at all. And then I’m thinking about a ton of other stuff out of that and spiraling.
Your being foolish.
Stop it.
If you need that much control. Ask her to something new for you..
Ask her to what?
im not looking for control. Sure I wouldn’t love if she slept with someone else but if she told me right away that’s a separate thing. If she lied about it this much and said how much it meant to her not to lie and what not, it becomes a big deal.
So you would obsess about knowing she slept with someone, and obsess about not knowing, which means you don't like knowing or not knowing, which means you want control.
Do something.new to her, with her consent,that gives you what you need.. and obsess about that....
I just want to know she was telling the truth.
@ppollock,
she told you.
If you still have doubts, then you should work on them. And not trying to "deal" with them by not believing her. You are doing great if you want to lose her, for good.
Yep. You’re right. We had another talk and she couldn’t have reassured me more. I still have trust issues and that breaks her heart but I need to work on them Bc she still wants me and I don’t want to push her away. Any advice on how to work on them?
