Words left unsaid

Hello & welcome to today's forum discussion <3 Drink some water and settle down. This will be part of an ongoing series. Throughout the weeks I'll be making a post highlighting each of the five essential things important to maintaining healthy relationships. These are your reminders, prompts—whatever you'd like to call it—to help you identify what is lacking in your relationships and how to fix it.

Today's forum discussion is about the first and most important characteristic of a relationship, communication. Communication, I hear you say, but we all know what that is? Why make a post about communication?

Well. How often do you apply it?

c o m m u n i c a t i o n | #1

Good communication is one of the key aspects to any relationship, whether that's a romantic or a platonic one.

We will be going over the following things:

• What is communication?
• Importance of communication in a relationship.
• How to improve your communication in a relationship
• Managing a conflict with communication

What is communication?
According to the dictionary, communication is the transfer of information from one place to another. In the context of a relationship, communication allows you to explain your thoughts and/or feelings to someone else. This allows them to understand what you're experiencing and what your needs are. The act of communicating doesn't just help meet your needs, but it also helps you stay connected in your relationship.

Importance of communication in a relationship.
We aren't mind readers. No matter how well we know someone or how close we are, you can't achieve complete understanding without their communication and input. We need to communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings that can create discord between each other and cause hurt. Often times we're reluctant to actually say what we're feeling in the hopes that you "won't think this way later on, it'll be fine, it'll go away". It might seem to you that it has gone away, but no problem is solved unless it's solved together. Clear communication is important to avoid feelings of hurt, mistrust and anger.

Now that you understand this, awesome. How do you ensure that you communicate properly?

• Be clear about what you want to say, don't use complicated words, or excessive slang.
• Think about what you want to say. Make sure you're certain of your feelings and you're completely aware.
• Talk what what is happenning and how it affects you, use statements starting with "I want..", "I feel like..." and "I need..."
• Negotiate and remember, you don't have to be right all the time. If the issue you're having isn't important, try not to argue further, don't risk the relationship.
• Make sure to also share positive feelings. Let people know they matter to you. Let them know they're appreciated by you and that you care. They might be overthinking it too.

How to improve your communication in a relationship.
Sometimes people find it easier to listen than be listened to. Others are scared of it being too embarrassing or being ignored if they tried to talk about how they feel. Some people just don't know how to communicate clearly. Whatever the case, communication can be learnt. You can improve your communications by:

• Building companionship, sharing experiences, interests and concerns with your partner brings you closer together.

• Sharing intimacy. It doesn't have to be something drastic, it could just be doing something nice for your partner because you can tell they're tired.

• Ask yourself a few questions, what causes conflict between you and your partner? Are they because you aren't listening to each other?

When you are more aware of how you communicate, you will be able to have more control over what happens between you. While it may not be easy at first, opening up new areas of communication can lead to a more fulfilling relationship.

Managing conflict with communication.
Some tips for managing conflict include:

• Try not to jump to conclusions.
• Discuss what actually happened, try not to judge.
• Use "I feel" statements instead of "You are" statements
• Learn to understand each other, not defeat each other.
• Avoid silent treatment. It's incredibly damaging.
• Talk about the problems that hurt you or your partner's feelings and move onto ways that you can work out together to solve them.

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1. On a scale of 1-10, how often do you tell your partner how you're feeling?
2. What do you usually do when you're feeling upset due to a conflict?

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If you've scrolled this far, I hope you have a great day <3 Stay tuned for next week's dicussion topic: Respect.