Worthless
I'm 21 and I have a boyfriend of 2 years. I moved states to be with him, his parents bought a house for us, he's a great guy with a great family and he's never done anything wrong to me. I feel like I mooch off of him because he's older than me (26) and I live in his parents house. He still pays for all the groceries and bills and stuff, I just don't feel like it's even at all. We have a small business together, but it's mostly him doing all the work and my name just gets slapped on it, I don't feel like I deserve it. I have another job but it's not high paying, I didn't finish school, I didn't finish my degree, I don't have a career or a goal for one, I guess I don't have dreams of my own. Even the business is his dream. I just feel very trapped recently and I literally just broke down because I couldn't even hold it in anymore just started sobbing. I don't have anything to my name, all my investments are bc of my boyfriend, I didn't do anything to deserve to live in this house his fam bought for us. I just feel super hopeless and trapped and unsuccessful and worthless.
@mochimaggi
Thank you for reaching out. I see completely that you're in a difficult place. I know how it feels to be trapped. And I know that it's even harder, in some ways, when everyone would say "you've got it great" and yet none of it is about you. And I feel that sometimes that's the hardest part - that no one can feel your struggle.
I know that it's difficult. You're taking a good step by being here and reaching out. Whatever you do here - it is about you only. It is not about your bf or his family, this is about you. That is something.
From what you say it doesn't sound as if there is an obstruction to you pursuing something that you do want. So, perhaps the next step is to keep talking to people - make sure that you have some part of you that is external to your bf and his family. And maybe from that convrsation you will be able to feel that something more, something else, something would be good for you.
You're not worthless. I value you, and I am glad you are here.