grieving the connection I don't have in my marriage
I'm struggling today with a heavy quiet ache in my marriage. Things on the surface are polite and functional - my husband is friendly, helps around the house and we keep the status quo But there is a complete absence of warmth affection or emotional intimacy.
A while ago, I explicitly let him know how much I need hugs and physical affection (not sex) but nothing has changed. I've started to feel less anxious and panicked over time, but now the deeper grief is settling in. I feel like a fixture in my own home and I'm realizing this isn't the partnership or like I envisioned for myself at my age. (47 years married)
I'm doing the best to hold my boundaries stay grounded and build my own peace but today it just feel heavy and lonely. Just needed a safe place to share with people who understand what it feels like to grieve a connection while still in the relationship.
Unfortunately he is not my safe place anymore.
@hurtandanxious
I'm sorry your not getting that warmth you need from him and things have become blah blah.. My wife is not mentally smart so I can never expect interesting conversations or unique forms of love that normal smart people enjoy.. I just accept her for how she is and I just work through the mundane.. I hope things get better for you, thanks for sharing with us..🌲
No person in the world can hold you forever. A person can hold your hand for a while; a meaningful cause can offer you lasting direction
@hurtandanxious
I hear you and you are not alone. Those of us in long term marriages often have a life we settled for when our partner no longer fills us with love and emotional support ... sure we pose for the photos people think we have a secret but in truth we just do day by day living it out not sure when death due us part became a goal.
