hurt and confused I need opinions

Hey guys I really need some help

Me and my boyfriend are together since 3 and a half years. We love each other so much but sometimes we get into big fights. I get absolutely ruined and really anxious. I think he blames too much on me. Sometimes it's my fault yes. sometimes I make mistakes and he is right to point them at me, I just dont feel that the way he does it it's constructive for us. He blames me a lot.

And besides that, I never make a big deal out of "his mistakes" I just understand, look for a solution and go on hapily. I tend to tell him "I don't put this height on you, why do you put it on me?" He just says that we deal with things differently and it's not my place to judge his reaction for MY mistakes ("because is a direct consequence").

He grew up in a toxic environment at home, and doesnt have a good management of his feelings I guess. So I just try sometimes to say how I feel. The problem is that he doesnt really like to talk about things that get on his nerves... and I really need to talk to feel like the problems will have a solution in the future.. I try to be comprehensive to all of this, and forgive sometimes his angry reactions because of is past and personal stress that he has to deal because of money and his messy family. But this is affectting me in my daily life and sometimes even in the way i act with him. I try to tell him this in a light way but it's not effective, when I talk in a more serious way we just pick topics from previous fights soooo it's not good.

I dont know what to do, I really love him with all my heart but I dont feel that our communication is good and solving our relationship problems, and I dont see how to fix this. I know we are both wrong in all of this, so please I just to know what am I doing wrong and how can I do better.

Thank you so much for reading I really apreciate that. I need opinions!