Advice
I went through my husbands phone because something just seemed different these past few months... we haven't had sex for about 3 months and he is constantly on his phone. I saw a decent amount of porn and him searching up only fans pages and looking at girls on snapchat. I confronted him about it but he denied it at first then owned up to it. I saw nothing that makes me believe he is cheated, but now I feel horrible about myself now... as if I'm not god enough to keep his attention on me and not porn stars. I just don't know what to do.
I understand how this is upsetting to you. Your husband hasn't shown interest in sex for at least the last 3 months and he has been looking at stars online. This makes you feel horrible because you feel that you aren't as good as the images of the stars online. There is something that he is attracted to in the pornography. Perhaps you could ask him what he likes about these stars and then you will find out what he is drawn to. Then you can figure out from there what interests him and doesn't interest him.
I would recommend counseling for both of you, either together or individually. I personally believe pornography is a type of infidelity, which is why it feels like such a betrayal when you experience something like this. Whether you agree or disagree with that, the main goal is restoring sex within your marriage. He needs to focus his attraction on you and not give his sexual energy to pornography, which is why counseling/therapy could benefit him. For you, you need to find comfortability in being sexual with him and not comparing yourself to what he has been looking at. Basically, he should bring his sexual energy back to you and you can have the confidence that he wants you and desires you, so that will bring you back together better than ever sexually. Also recommend open conversations about pornography as well as blocks for internet devices, because porn definitely rewires the brain and makes intimacy with your spouse more challenging. Keep your head up and if nothing else find healing for yourself in this time. Hope this helps!