Am I Crazy
I have never told anyone this before. I am 19 male and I have very violent sexual fantasies. Since I was little I guess about four years old,I always liked watching movie scenes where a female got killed. I also liked playing this game where I would try to strangle my younger sister and she would pretend to be dead( I normaly was the one forcing her) As I approached puberty, my desire for this kind of stuff became sexual. I would always get an erection whenever I see I lady get killed(especially by strangulation) in a movie or school drama. This feelings have kept on becoming more and more intense. I have often masturbated on videos/pictures of women strangled,suffocated, choked or stabbed to death. And recently I am having urgies to do it. I don't have a girlfriend presently and I don't want to because I don't need one now. I am an introvert but I have a few friends. I am also very good at hiding my feelings. Recently I have become more cold and starting to lack some emotions that I used to have. I am also currently in the university. I am attracted to girls with big boobs and pretty face. Whenever I see an attractive girl all I imagine is strangling her and watching her breath her last breath and seeing her lie lifeless with her eyes wide open and me touching and fondling her gorgeous body. I know if I attempt doing this I would have the best sexual experience ever but I also know committing murder is not good and I don't want to do it. That doesn't mean that I would care less if anyone dies except for my mum,sister and brother. I have never really liked sex and seeing two people have sex irritates me. But the urgies keep getting more intense everyday that its affecting my studies and general concentration. Pls what is wrong with me
@Keleboy50 - It's natural to have different fantasies that may or may not be appropriate for real life, but the important piece is the ability to separate the fantasy from the reality of what is okay. And if those fantasies are crossing over into an area where they cause issues in your life or make sex without them difficult, it's worth exploring further and working on. It's been a while since you posted this - have things remained similar or have they changed? Have you been able to talk about this at all with a therapist or anyone else?
Well such fantasies could be scary but they key is to not act them out enough so anyone dies.
There are plenty of people who are into more hardcore things and if you ponder about it maybe you can find a way to work around it, roleplay is quiet common and I'm sure theres women out there who wouldn't mind acting dead or getting a rough spanking etc.
Strangulation isn't that uncommon to be sexually attracted to and self control is important in such sexual actions.
