Am I the only one who doesn't like casual sex?
Hey there,
I am a virgin, and I was also sexually assaulted a few years ago, i.e. nonconsenually felt-up. I have socially anxiety and have never had a romantic relationship. I've had intense feelings of loneliness and depression. I intensely dislike casual sex and sexual liberation culture which centers casual sex. I support others who are into that, but I feel incredibly alienated and alone around people who have had two year long relationships or talk about sex like it's automatic to them and nonchalant. I feel so violated and invalidated even when people talk about sex at all; I barely want to be present in the conversation. I have panic attacks and have to go for long drives or runs and just get away from these people. :( :(
Daydreamer
I also dislike casual sex. I think before sex there needs to be respect, love, passion, and compassion between two people. I don't think it's something to toy with. It is my personal belief that sex should be between 2 people that really care and love one another. I think you also need to love yourself before being intimate with someone.
@agentvalentina Yeah thanks for sharing. I think it depends on each person. As long as you know yourself and live by your own choices, you're good, and probably look for partners who have a similar preferences/beliefs. I think it's important not to slut-shame OR prude-shame. Just let everybody do their own thing and celebrate that there's a diversity of choices, experiences, and likes/dislikes. The hard part is not letting somebody speak over/dismiss your preferences and in turn not speaking over theirs.
@Daydreamer47
I completely agree. I think that everyone is free to do what they are comfortable with and I think that having an open environment is the best possible thing for that!
@agentvalentina
Yess finally someone agrees
I hate casual sex for the reason that people are so irresponsible and get pregnant both left and right and spread STDs and STIs, apart from that it's not my thing but if others do it responsibly I don't mind it.
It seems like the norm of wanting to have a bunch of sex and drink is part of the "dumbing down" of society, women are supposed to be a mans willing little sex toy while he should be a rich psycopath and they both should like the newest dumbest hits on radio ( Like Rhiannas song Work, she's not even singing "Work" after a while, it's "Wah wah wah wah wah" sounding like she has the that blunt of weed stuck in her throat too while trying to sing, to look at the culture too it's such a shame to drag the culture down in such a way, would it be Jamaican? African american? Well I think you see my point )
@Ladypearl uhhh ok. well she is actually singing Jamaican patois which is a dialect/native language in Jamaica. I hope you aren't suggesting black people are "ruining the culture", please because that is racist.
I don't like casual sex, but let's not slut shame either please. Just because someone has a lot of sex, that doesn't mean they're spreading STDs. I support the choice of women to have a lot of sex or none based on choice. This post was mainly about me feeling insecure/socially anxious about my choices, and I just want to feel confident in my own skin, but I would never shame another woman for enjoying sex. :( :(
@Daydreamer47 I wasn't being either racist or slut shaming either.
@Daydreamer47
You are definitely not an exception. I am married and a mom too. I have never engaged in any for of casual sex with anyone. I remained virgin till my marriage. Its nothing bad to dislike casual sex. For me at least, I cannot imagine any other guy getting so intimate with me till the level of sex.
Each person has his/her own set of beliefs and moral values. There is nothing white and black in this world, I mean there is nothing "right" and "wrong" in this world. Its all upto every individual how to behave and what to do in life. At the end of the day, that individual should feel satisfied with his/her decisions and choices.
Also, what majority does never defines right and wrong. For instance, once upon a time, majority of world population believed that Earth is flat ! But that's not true. My point is never judge things based on what majority does. Always rely on your individual reasoning.
For more personal guidance, please feel free to connect with me here - https://www.7cups.com/@Pious
@Pious Thank you for sharing your views. I just pm'ed you...
@Daydreamer47
I will try not to trigger you... cause of the things you said. I am the opposite of you, I hate and loathe romance, and I cannot understand how their can be this. And even seeing families makes me wanna puke...
Since you had have all those past traumatic expiriences it will be really hard for you to get along with most people. have you tried going out with people who are more puritans.. there are those who only talk about sex after marriage.. if that is for you.
@Daydreamer47
In a similar boat with you
It's not fun
But it's gotten a bit better so maybe it will for you
