BDSM
apparently this hasn't been added to the "unconventional relationship" list. so i'll just go ahead and star. i'm in a BDSM relationship, D/s to be specific. i've actually found it very helpful for my anxiety and depression. i not only have someone to talk to, i also have real life motivation to take my pills and look for a therapist and go to a support group for my issues. in most ways, i've done better at life since i got in the relationship. anyone else have a similar story?
I am in a D/S relationship too. Structure and wanting to please him does help me better myself. Just him as a person in general has helped me better myself. =)
I'd like to introduce myself to the BDSM community, my name is Lucas. I'm 16 so I don't know if that's weird or anything. I'm bisexual and extremely submissive. I love to be controlled and used like a toy. I like the idea of my sole purpose to be to pleasure my partner. I haven't had any experience yet but I fantasize about it a lot. That's about all I want to say for now. So hello and have a good day. :)
@TroubledThespian Theres nothing wrong with craving that sexually helpless feeling, ive been into bdsm for about 4 years, im 20 years old now
I feel like I'm thread hijacking, but I have to ask - is there a forum whre one can discuss/seek advice about complex bdsm dynamics such as poly M/s?
@MissingALink there should be!
@MissingALink - You could absolutely use this forum or the relationship forum - whichever felt more right to you, and open up a new thread to talk about it. :)
@paperthinhymn
Hello! My name is levi and I’m trying to slowly submerge myself in this community, (I’m 17 and gay). I think I’m more on the submissive side and often fantasize of being used without any regard for a sexual pleasure. That said, I was hoping I could find some guidance on here. :’)
@paperthinhymn Honestly if it’s healthy and consensual and helping you stay functional, that sounds like a positive thing overall. Structure and accountability genuinely help some people a lot, even outside BDSM stuff.
Just make sure you’re improving for yourself too, not only because someone else is telling you to. But yeah, doesn’t sound weird to me at all.
@paperthinhymn yeah I get what you mean. for some people the structure and clear roles in a D/s setup can actually make things feel more stable, like you’ve got someone keeping you accountable and you’re not just drifting had a similar phase where having that kind of dynamic pushed me to keep routines in check, even basic stuff like sleep and meds. It’s not a fix on its own though, still need the outside help like therapy, but it can kind of support it as long as it stays healthy and not controlling in a bad way, it can definitely work for some people like that.
I can relate to this to some extent. I think having someone who genuinely knows you and keeps you accountable can make a bigger difference than people sometimes realize. For me, the useful part wouldn't necessarily be the labels or the particular dynamic, but having someone who encourages me to actually follow through on things I already know I need to do. When you're struggling with anxiety or depression, even basic things can feel like a huge effort, so having that extra motivation can be really helpful.
It also sounds like you've found a good balance where the relationship is supporting you rather than replacing professional help. The fact that it's encouraged you to take your medication, look for therapy and attend a support group seems like a really positive outcome. I'd be interested to hear whether others have found the accountability side of a D/s relationship helpful in everyday life too.
