Can't Climax/Can't Identify Climax

Basically what it says above. I have no problem with arousal or libido and I greatly enjoy having sex but the tension and sensations just keep building infinitely and I never feel like I am "spent" or "climaxed". I just stop when I mentally decide to like "Oh I'm getting hungry" or when my partner finishes. It's not a matter of my partner being unskilled because he frankly does a better job than I do when I am alone. I have only had something I could identify as an orgasm three times in my life and that's NOT for lack of trying. I experienced some sexual abuse from a partner in the past, could this partly be to blame? Is it because I started self-pleasuring extremely early in life and I am desensitized? Has any other woman experienced this? Why? What can be done? Is this even a problem that needs solving?? I feel uncomfortable when I tell my friends asking for advice and they seem so confused and like they pity me. It makes me seem like a prude, which I am not. And I can't ask my family for advice, and I haven't seen a doctor yet. I feel like it is a psychological blockage of some sort. Can anyone give me any helpful advice?