Dear wife

I was the other side of a sexless marrage but it took me too long to even realize how big of an issue it was for my wife. Once i realized, i went thru a time where i shut down. Honestly i was lost. I have come foward and still working on myself but my SO and I are much better now.

During my journey i wrote this and want to share it with other to show that sometimes you cant see what is going on with your significant Other

Dear wife,

I am writing to tell you how I miss you. I have always seen you as the one and only for me and to this day I still see you this way.

The last year or so, we have grown distant in many ways and I feel it’s because I do not want to disappoint you, showing love and emotion to you and having you think it will lead to sex, to let you down again because of reason I’m unsure of. The desire is there in my heart but not my physical body and this seems like it’s out of my control. I read all the time to find out what’s wrong with me. I try new things, I work out, I go to the doctor, I want to know, I need to know but can’t talk to you about it because I worry it will make the issue worse. That you will take it personal, that you will realize we are not compatible, that you need someone better, not broken like me.

I worry about you leaving, not feeling loved, not getting what you need. I though my love was enough. I thought providing a place to live, food, anything you ask for, saying I love you was enough. I feel as if the lack of sex is a dealbreaker to you, does anything thing else matter. I feel discounted for working overtime all the time, I feel less of a man for thinking feeling love is enough, with all the things I have given up for you to be happy. I feel like hating our life together due to lack of sex devalues what we have together.

I spent so many hours reading online to get some insight or direction. I see message boards full of people offering advice, telling to leave and find someone more compatible. It hurts me that it’s that easy for others. They do not know the other side; many are looking for the easy way out. They do not see the effort or struggle that many have in working to save what they feel is worth saving. I see people offing advice without having nothing to lose in another battle. I try not to feel this way, I try to make up for it in other ways. I try to understand why

I will keep trying. I keep working on it. I will keep loving you no matter what you do.

Signed Broken

This was one of the most difficult things i have ever done and still feel emotional when i post it. I hope it can give some insight for others.