Feeling bad for wanting to have sex
My wife and I have been together for 11 years and our sex life has been ok. I’ve always wanted to have it more often than she does. When she doesn’t have want to have sex I get very frustrated because that’s a main source of intimacy for us. Lately she hasn’t been wanting to have sex and it’s been messing with my head. I get feelings of not being loved/wanted and it upsets me. We talk about it and she insists that she loves me but it still bothers me.
@adeak4 I am sorry you are struggling with this in your marriage. Have you tried asking her why she doesn't feel in the mood or what might help her feel more in the mood? It's hard when you both don't want it at the same frequency, but I hope you can find a compromise. Maybe try to self-reflect more about why this is making you feel unloved and how you can try to love yourself more so that you can still respect her boundaries without feeling so down. Best of luck. :)
@adeak4
My partner and i have just read "Come as you are" by Emily Nagoski. I really recommend it for understanding how to get the sex you want. She does a great job of explaining the things that prevent great sex and how to resolve them.
Hi there. Sorry to hear that you are going through this struggle. When you do talk to her does she feel like you focus on her during sex to? Does she feel equally as taken care of and loved during sex? Does she feel and do you feel there is enough foreplay prior to sex? I have a partner that I feel pressures me for sex and usually the reasons I get overwhelmed is because he’s very self-centered and focused on himself during sex and it has become low enjoyment and like a chore for me. Check in with her and make sure that she feels you aren’t thinking of only your pleasure 😊
I can relate to this as my wife struggles with low libido due to a side effect of medication. I know that rejection cab really mess with you and make you feel unwanted but it's most likely not you and something that is affecting her. My advice is to keep communicating and find non sexual ways to be intimate.
