Here for you :)
Hey everyone :)
I'm a mentor here and have been into the lifestyle for quite sometime.
I'd like to reassure everyone that there definitely isn't anything wrong with you and there definitely isn't anything wrong with enjoying BDSM.
If you follow some rules (consent, safe word etc.), you can do it very safely.
Having said that, if anyone needs someone to talk to about this or about anything, please don't hesitate to message me. :)
I think BDSM is a cool thing, but sometimes I am scared. I'm too newbie in sex and everything makes me feel pain or sadness because an ex who tried to do with me lots of nasty and horrible things. So, I have some traumas...
Yes, BDSMis NOT to be confused with abuse. It's just a way of playing, a way of enhancing sexual play.
Don't let anyone use it as an excuse to abuse you. :)
My actual boyfriend knows about this and says he won't hurt or abuse me, he's careful, but it's not enough for my fears. Sooooo, I don't know what to do.
Every time I feel fault if we do X thing or I think in Y one. I am too scared of suffering again and the worst things is I don't feel so much pleasure than before :'(
I am sad because I think my sexual life is destroyed by the a**hole of my ex.
I'm sorry things are so tough.
Just remember to never give up and that these things will take time and remember to communicate your feelings clearly. :)
Yeah, and forget the past. It's very dumb thinking in my ex and having fear each time my babes touches me or hugs me in a rude mood.
Maybe meditation can help me?
I definitely think that there is nothing wrong with BDSM if it is done safely. I know a lot of people do not agree because they think there is little consent, however, i disagree. BDSM can be amazing if you use a safe word!
Yes very well said! I'm glad you agree! :) <3
Yes, people do think that there is little consent in BDSM but the truth is actually quite the opposite; there is MORE consent in BDSM than there is in "normal sex"
BDSM is normal and there is nothing wrong with it , as long as both of the intercourses are ok with it :)
So glad to see all the support of many different lifestyles. Supportive posts like these make me smile :)
Hi there,
Honestly I think that finding this thread is amazing. I've been introduced to BDSM by one of my close friends when she recommended a book. I've always felt a bit outcasted when it comes to subjects like these because, well, it's different. I don't know how to explain it but, well, it feels natural... Hmm does that sound weird? Probably does. I've talked to one of my really close friends about it and he just gave me the weirdest look ever. It kinda hurt, but then again, society isn't very educated about these subjects and Fifty Shades of Grey made it worse I think. Anyways, I'd like to thank you for making a thread like this because it makes me feel accepted.
Sylvia.
It honestly melted my heart to read this! I'm so glad it helped you, Sylvia! :) <3
If you or anyone here ever needs someone to talk to. Please just message. :)
personally I think if you like it, go for it! I just don't really understand it is all. then again, I'm a major wimp when it comes to pain, so that's probably it. 😂
I find it funny how everyone thinks that BDSM is all about pain. The truth is, most times it involves a little bit of pain, but think about those 'fuzzy hand-cuffs' and being tied down. Does being tied down really mean pain? Not really, it all depends on the dom/domme's work and your own preferences. You don't need pain to be into BDSM although it's usually a packaged deal. And speaking of doms/dommes, they are the main ones who execute the actions or plays while the subs have a major role as well. BDSM in my opinion is not all about pain. It's about making love on a deeper level. The amount of trust needed for each play is incredible. I find it extremely romantic and beautiful.
You said this perfectly! There's more to submission then being flogged. There's a mental and emotional aspect as well, and while there may be some pain it isn't always physical. The teasing and deprivation can be just as exhilarating
I agree completely with all of those that are participating in a consensual partnership that involves BDSM. Someone previously commented that the whole "50 Shades" phenomenon made things a lot worse as an attempt to help open up the world to this concept. Suddenly society was split down the middle: those that see it as this unhealthy, prisoner-type relationship where the female couldn't possibly be an actual consenting particpant; and those that suddenly saw it as a form of romance and acceptance. Sadly, very few are actually seeing it for what it really is and that's a healthy, fun way to explore yourself and your consensual sexual partner. There is nothing wrong at all as long as it takes place between two people that are willing to participate. Thanks so much for opening up this thread and bringing to light this topic!
It's so great to see such a supportive post. No one should feel judged or uncomfortable about these things. If you do, just know that we are here to support you!
Thank you so very much for posting this thread, and making me feel normal! i discovered my submissive side about 7 years ago, or at least discovered there was a name for how i have felt my whole life, and boy did that set me free!
I searched the internet, read book after book, read about different dynamics and finally, at 44 years old, i felt normal, that i was not shameful, that i can hold my head up and be proud of who and what i am.
Thank you, thank you, thank you :)
It warms my heart to see all the participation here! Thank you so much everyone! <3
Yes, absolutely there is nothing wrong with you if you are into BDSM. If done properly, it can add a beautiful dimension to a relationship. Be proud of it. :)
Yes, BDSM is not always about pain. For most, when it comes to whips (etc.), it's more about the fantasy of being "controlled" and "put in your place" than it is about the actual pain.
In fact, for most, the pleasure doesn't come from pain but from the whip being tapped on the skin very lightly or just brushed over it because that is a very powerful and pleasurable sensation in itself. For most, there is no hard hitting at all.
Thank you so much again everyone, love you all. Keep up the conversation and love. :) So proud of you guys!
