Husband addicted to porn
i’ve been married for 10 years, together for 13. Very early on, I walked in on my husband watching porn, in the living room. Happened multiple more times over the years, and always in the open. I’ve told him multiple times that I’m not ok with it and if he won’t stop, to at least do it behind locked doors. It got to the point where I quit having sex with him, but that caused a huge fight. He said he quit watching porn and NEEDED me to have sex as much as possible, preferably every day. I tried, but it has killed all of my desire for him. I thought the low drive was due to my depression/anxiety medication, so he asked me to quit taking it. I did, but turns out it wasn’t the medication. The porn and his lack of concern for my feelings has completely killed any desire I have for him. I’d be happy never having sex again. But I keep doing it to keep him from blowing up. I hate this. I wish that I could leave, but I have nowhere to go, no money and a bunch of kids with him. He said he wishes he could go back in time and realize how much it bothered me and not do it. But that’s just a lie to “make me feel better” because if it was true, he would have stopped after the first few times I walked in on it. And he’s still following only fan accounts on twitter.
@happycocoa22
Ok , how does his habit of watching corn affecting your/his life?
He has repeatedly turned me down when I initiate, and went to the lengths to tell me that I just had a higher drive because I’m younger than him. But in reality, he was choosing porn daily, over me. And he does it in the open, not behind a locked door like the bathroom. Sooooo many times.
@happycocoa22
Even if he is okay with it , does it affect his daily life?
He’s up at at 4 am watching it, and choosing it over me. And that definitely affects his life because it makes me not want to be with him. He wants me to be willing and able anytime but not enough to quit the porn. Or even hide it.
And causing erectile dysfunction
im so sorry that’s not right. Y’all should be able to come to agreeable terms no one should be subjected to that. It sounds like he is disregarding your physical body and emotional side. That is an extremely tough situation but you can only do so much for someone he needs to take care of himself. He can get it under control he needs addiction therapy and porn addiction is not entirely uncommon most people just closet it. If he doesn’t want to get it under control there’s nothing you can do and I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Addiction is very real I hope he gets the help he needs.
Thank you. He sees nothing wrong with it, so just thinks I’m emotional or whatever:
@happycocoa22
Wow I was going to say that that must be aggravating but I am sure that it must be well beyond that for you. Not sure why he has to watch his porn in the open, when you gave him the option of doing it in private? Would you even still be ok if he did it in private or just knowing that he is watching porn making you feel .... not sure the right worn disgusted, rejected, hurt? Is watching porn in the open also a risk for the kids catching him? It also sounds like he has his physical needs and desires met but you do not have any of you emotional needs met. and that you are felling less and less connected with him. Have you asked him to go to counseling or therapy?
Yes, I’ve asked him to go to therapy but he always says no, that he will never go. And yes, that’s my fear with him doing it in the open. Last time it happened, I told him it would be over if I walked in on it again. So he does it in the middle of the night now, or when the kids are at school. But still! And I wouldn’t be ok with it ever, but I’d be less hurt if it was in private. I feel like it’s just a slap in the face doing it in the open,’or in the bed with me when he thinks I’m asleep. Even crazier is that I joked about selling breastmilk or feet pics once because we are always broke. He told me that would absolutely be a deal breaker for him. But constant porn consumption is ok for him to do?!? I wasn’t even serious about selling those thing but he freaked out.
@happycocoa22
This must be really hard. There is a reason why they call it an addiction. It does seem excessive especially his lack of concern for your feelings/requests. I am a man so I can't say that I haven't looked at porn or masturbated some as well. My wife open to it certain things bother her as well if frequent and if I did certain things. So there are definitely limits. You are right about him being a bit one-sided. The breast milk and feet pics were just jokes but are there other things that you would be interested in for your self? give to yourself away from the kids, a bath, erotica, or other? What do you most want from him?