Husband having sexy time alone
First time posting on here. I’m 39 and suffer from depression/anxiety. My second husband and I have been married since sept 2019, together 5 years total. Back story made short as possible. About 2 years ago we decided to go into the swinging lifestyle. We don’t sleep around and I can count on 1 hand the number of couples we have swapped with. So even in the lifestyle we aren’t very sexually active but do it because of all the amazing friends we have made. My husband is 41 and I know his sex drive is more active than mine. My depression and just the stresses of life with work and children often keeps me not feeling very sexual. He also works third shift and falls asleep right before his head hits the pillow, usually by 9-10pm he’s out on his off nights. Now for my problem. A couple months ago we went into a very dry no sex spell for a few weeks. He seemed to be more interested in going to the gym and sleeping. I put a camera in our bathroom to see how often he pleases himself ( don’t judge 😒.) He always said he never did in between the times we would actually have sex. To my surprise he does it almost every day if not then every other. Always while watching porn. I know men do this and if it wouldn’t be so frequently I wouldn’t even care. Today he did it twice, once while I was gone and a couple hours later I was in our bed right about 8 ft away. If he would Make some effort I would take care of his needs. I just feel like his hand is what he would really much rather have or watching women that have a much better body then I do. Him doing this makes me even more depressed and very insecure. I can’t really say anything without telling him I’ve invaded his privacy and become a crazy wife. So question is am I being crazy or does my husband have a problem with tickling his pickle and porn
@Adenei302825. Hi yeah
Hiya I'm sam do u fancy a chat@Adenei302825
@Adenei302825
Well, I think you should remove the camera and stop watching him. You're violating his privacy. If you want sex, then why can't you just talk to him about it?
I understand how this is making you depressed and insecure. You want to have a healthy sexual relationship with your husband and satisfy his needs. It is so important to feel wanted, needed and accepted. And the fact that he is turning to pornography and self-pleasure instead of going to you for his needs really bothers you. You feel that the reason that he turns to pornography is because you don't look like the women on the screen. It is really hard telling why he is turning to pornography and self-pleaaure instead of having sex with you. It sounds like that you have not confronted him on this issue yet. Perhaps you could initiate a conversation with him and ask him about his disinterest in sex and see how he responds. Based on his response, you may be able to address your feelings and to connect with him easier.
I agree you should remove the camera. You wouldn’t want him to do that to you, would you? Everyone deserves privacy. If you want to have sex more often, then initiate it.
If he needs more sex than you, isn’t it a good thing for him to take care of himself rather than cheating on you? More communication between the two of you would probably help. Try small steps like telling him you are willing to have more sex. Talk about how frequently you each would prefer and make some sort of compromise. Talk about what is ok for your relationship like having other partners ( I don’t recommend) or masturbating. Unfortunately masturbating is much less work than trying to please a partner and explain what you like. I also find it can make it difficult to be stimulated by a partner who doesn’t touch in the same way as one’s own hand. That can be detrimental to couple’s sexual.
