I repress my sexual desires
My life in a nutshell : I am obssesive person, who has isolated all his life, with huge trust issues. I have masturbated all my life. When I was 13 I used to do it from 30-50 times a day, then it went a bit lower, on average 10-20 times. Now on age 39 I do it around 2-4 times a day. Women used to call me disgusting not for my looks, but for my behaviours. In short I bult this image inside of me that women hate me, and that is not possible for me to be with a woman, because I might be an idiot, also I have been most of my life without working. I never could finished anything in life, I am very antisocial, and I have huge anger issues. I live in a city, since I wake up, I have all this cars honking their horns which makes me supper mad.
I want to have sexual relationships, but I guess I am afraid of rejection, I have been procrastinated about approaching women for so long, I mainly have sex with prostitutes. If it wasnt for the prostitutes I would said I had sex only about 10 times in my life or less...
with prostitutes I had sex around 50-100 times.. I dont remember... So other of my problems is that I get very boring when having to do chit chat with women and having to deal with bullshit... I guess is really hard for me to change radically and start talking with women I am afraid of .
@okeyyyy
prostitutes, eh? i guess prostitutions legal where you live.
it seems you're a very sexual man, and there's nothing wrong with that. just be careful with the way you express that sexuality.
if prostitution is legal where you live, then that could be a good way to relieve and express your sexuality. though one reason why i couldn't hire a prostitute, even if it were legal, is because prostitutes cost money. and what happens when you don't have any money, my good friend? it's a disaster waiting to happen, i'd think.
but that's beyond the scope of your initial concerns. you worry about social communication. no matter how good you are with sex or how much sex you have, you will still need to develope scoial skills in order to talk to people, including women you like. from my personal experience, i will say that most women i've met are not into strongly sexual men. it's been a turn-off.
i'm not saying there's no hope, but if you really want to talk with a woman and start a strong social non-sexual relationship, then your strong sexuality might make it hard for you to find women who will accept you; especially if you can't socially communicate with them at a sufficient level, due to undeveloped social skills.
@redCanine3669 thanks for the feedback
@okeyyyy maybe time to start analyzing the "Why" either on your own or with help from a counsellor.
Why are you an obssesive person? Why have you been isolated all your life. Where did you get the huge trust issues?
Some questions will obviously be easier to answer than others.
Why did women call you disgusting for your behaviours, what exactly about them was disgusting? Why have you been most of your life without working? Whycould you never finished anything in life? Why are you very antisocial? Why do I get angry at the wrong time?Why do cars honking their horns make you supper mad?
Why do you want to have sexual relationships? Why are you afraid of rejection? Why do you feel you get very boring when having to do chit chat with women? What do you define as bullshit? Why do you feel like you'd have to change radically instead of a little bit at a time?
@XercinVex Yes I do that. Yet I will do it more, thanks for the feedback. and yes I have a therapist
