Kink + Vanilla = Variety?
My BF of 4 years and I started exploring bdsm early on and it added a fantastic spice to our sex life. Fast forward and he's decided he's a bottom sub, wants me as femdom, and adds crossdressing and chastity to the mix. All good ....but do we really have to do ONLY that formula each and every time? Experimentation and playfulness is gone, and while I make a decent domme, it's just a role not a persona for me. I miss seeing him dressed as a man - or undressed completely. I miss him following his insincts and imagination in how to pleasure me, and am tired of being expected to vocally dictate every move he makes on me. Isn asking for variety and romance as well as kink so unreasonable? Do you think it's achievable?
Hey, @FadingShade ! 
Its most definitely achievable! Re-exploring (or reading up on other ways to pleasure yourselves) is always a good way to spice things up again and you two might even find something more enjoyable than what you're currently doing. Have you ever vocally spoken of this to him? It can be hard to reach a goal if you keep it all internalized otherwise. Plus the fact that you two have been in a relationship for four years; I'm sure he'd want your needs being met especially since you've been so giving to him. Don't give up and continue to strive for your wants too!
Feel free to reach out to me if you ever want to chat! I wish you the best of luck! 
Yay a kink thread! just very happy that this is here.
Okay so before my partner now, i had a relationship that was emotionally abusive, he lied, he cheated, he used me, manipulated me, and after he was done threw me under the bus, i loved him though, like i have never loved anyone as much as i did him, it was devastating that it happened. Now though i have trouble being submissive, i constantly have my walls up, and i cant trust my partner which is just upsetting because i want to make him happy, and i feel like i cant be submissive anymore because i dont want to be vulnerable anymore.
@bestLime958 my ex used to be the same way. But I will always confront him now he left me for someone who is younger. Omg, he is not get to do to her what he was doing to me.
@FadingShade
Hey,
I'm not sure if you are still around, but I want to give you an answer, and everybody else who might be in the same situation. From what I can tell is that you are seeking more variety, as you both have fallen into certain roles. I had the same problem, as for some time sex for me was more like 'work' I'm expected to do, and less about enjoyment. At that time I was too afraid to speak about what my real kinks are, because I was afraid of rejection and possibly even ridicule. In any ways, I have found my voice and told her. What my girlfriend and I now do, is that we send erotic stories to each other (like on this website), stories that feature things we would like to try out or that make us hot. I hope that helps. :)
@imaginativeCircle3125 - What a great response! I think it's always helpful to see when someone else has been through similar things, and I'm glad that you have been able to find your voice with your girlfriend and figure out more things that work for you. :)
@Anomalia Thank you so much, it means a lot to me!
