Lack of libido/ intimacy
Hello! Bit if a vent/ reach out
For context- I have Pcos and I am on the pill so might just be hormonal however.
Me and my partner haven't had sex in around 5 months, we usually have it every 2 months however I find myself feeling more comfo woth self pleasuring at the moment. At first I thought it was just myself feeling uncomfortable being naked in my own body w someone else bc I gained some weight and started to dislike myself but got confident again (ish)
First time we slept together and a few times after that were great but the last maybe 2 times I wasn't as into it and I find myself being a bit off woth sex after that. He's doffrent from other guys I've slept with size wise and I find myself not being completely satisfied w sex alone.
We've kinda spoke about it but not tried again since as none of us are up for it. I however feel guilty for not 'putting out' even though he hasn't said anything.
However I also sense a lack of intimacy in general as we seem to be just like roomates right now rather than lovers.
Any help or advice would be great
@zedbee1 hi there. my name is kate. it is nice to meet you
it sounds to me like your libido is rather low and you prefer to please yourself alone at the moment. it definitely sounds like something that could be hormonal, like you said, but considering you mentioned that there seems to be issues in your sexual life with him, it sounds like maybe having a conversation about what pleases you/doesn't please you would help? seeing that you self-please, it means you also know what you like/don't like. i think open communication about these things is important, because it helps make the experience better for both parties! also, if you happen to use any kind of toys, you could also ask to use those when doing something together, too. what do you think?
on the other hand, you said that you sense a lack of intimacy as it seems you two are more like roommates rather than lovers, so I would assume you are going through some downs in your relationship right now and intimacy is really not a priority right now. based on that, I think for now it would be a better idea to focus on the emotional connection the two of you have (and possibly strengthen it if possible?), and get back to strengthening your sexual connection later on. what do you think of this? does it sound like something you'd like to work on with your partner?
