My boyfriend is more sexually fluid than I am
hello,
new to this site, looking for some kind of help/insight.
My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other just over a year now and in the last few months Ive found extensive details related to his sexuality. Some stuff he told me and some stuff I found out about online.
My boyfriend is someone who is very sexually fluid and very into taboo types of kinks.
Initially I thought he was mainly bisexual with a huge love for pegging. And then I found out with lots of snooping that its much deeper then that. (hes a chronic liar and Ive had to find out things in the past because he refuses to be honest about most things)
I love him and I want to support him but Im also very insecure and scared of him cheating or no longer being satisfied by just me. He says that would never happen but hes such a chronic liar, I dont know what to do.
He wont talk to me about really any of it in general and Im just at a loss anymore.
Any advice or support would be appreciated.
@Adorkable09 I've been in simular situations and I know the struggle. The things Ive had to tell myself and ask myself are what was important to me and my happiness. Would counselling work? Work weekly date/time to sit and talk help to bring the connection etc. If you want to talk more feel free to reach out
@Adorkable09
I think you've gotta ask yourself what kind of state the relationship is in if you're resorting to snooping (as you put it) in to his past. It's most likely that he hasn't told you the truth about some things because he's possibly ashamed or feels guilty, which is a very common thing when it comes to taboo fetishes. Have you tried talking to him about the things you know about now? Does he want to talk about those things?
If not, you might just have to imagine how you might feel if there was something in your past that you wasn't comfortable to share yet, it's not necessarily a given that you tell your partner every dark little detail about yourself and I wouldn't really call it lying to omit said things. Sadly it seems like there's some kind of comunication breakdown between you two, and insecurity can be a devastating thing on a relationship like that.
One thing is for sure though is that a relationship takes two people to make it work, you've both gotta come together and talk openly about each others issues, and try to find a solution that's without blame. I'd suggest you make that your focus first, try to establish a way that you can both sit down and openly discuss the issues, and work from there.
Break up, if there isn't any trust theres no relationship.
One need to be honest in a partnership.
And that is kinks aside, even if two people have kinks that doesn't match, telling the truth and being honest is ALWAYS number one, one can lie about everything.