My partner wants a threesome
Just to clarify. My partner is the first person I’ve ever been with sexually. He on the other hand, had multiple partners before me- which is okay. I’m not going to shame him for the people he’s been with before me.
The issue is, I’m not sure if we’re compatible. He’s admitted to me that he had a addiction towards women and he struggles with wanting attention. I’ve caught him on dating apps before and he says there’s no intention other them feeling like he’s wanted. The first time I caught him, he told me he wanted a threesome. That was 8 months ago, every two months we argue about it. It’s to the point where I don’t feel like I’m a sexual being.
i mean I am, and I like having sex, but I’ve lost the confidence. He’s called me boring in bed…. And that’s embarrassing, he later said he only said it out of anger- and I told him if we could maybe bring security back into our sexual relationship I would do it… but how do I do that. How do I feel secure when I feel so insecure and ugly and not enough. He says it’s none of those things and it’s related to his own sexual trauma and I understand that- but how can I agree to invite someone into our space when that wouldn’t solve anything. you know?
Hi SleepingWaffles,
I can relate to your situation from a past experience and in all honesty...it doesn't end well. Going by your post I'd say you are being mentally abused, degraded and made to feel worthless. You shouldn't have to feel this way. You should be with someone who does not risk losing your trust, someone who makes you feel attractive and wanted, someone who knows your boundaries and respects them, someone who has similar expectations from a relationship. The problem is that the damage to your confidence and self worrh is done. I suggest you focus 100% on yourself, you deserve it. Also, past hurt can be taken into other areas of your life, so spend time falling in love with yourself till you're so full that your love overflows and can be given to others.
This probably isn't what you wanted to hear but please know it comes from a good place and experience in a similar situation. I understand every relationship is different but you should never have to feel so low about yourself.
I'm new to this group and not 100% sure on how it works but if you need someone to talk to then I'm happy to be there for you.
