Religion dishonesty and loving intimacy

I have 5 children and have been sexually active since I was really young. I was raised religious whereas sex before marriage is frowned upon. I love my opposite sex especially spending time with them. I love long term relationships especially to someone who is loyal and caring. I have not always wanted to be with someone due to childhood trauma and self sufficiency but I try them out anyway. I am 40 years old and have been married once. I can count on all fingers and toes how many climatic experiences I have had during my 2 people sex. I am all well when I am alone and with my toys. Rarely ever with 2 people. I am guessing I have sexual tention and sexual anxiety. I also have guilt when having sex because of my religion whereas the physicians say sex is healthy and I should embrace it. I guess I am lost, hurt and confused and am figuring the frustration comes out instead of the climax. - Tired of having intimate relationships that don't give me climatic experiences.