Sex
For the love of god I need someone to help me through this. I accidentally wore my birth control patch 5 extra days and it made my period start spotting a week and a half early. My bf won’t touch me on my period and even still through how long it’s been so far (over a week) won’t touch me. Not even with a condom. I feel worthless. *** disgusting. I hate my body. But that can’t be normal can’t it?.. should I not feel like this?? Is it even wrong for him if he’s uncomfortable with it?.. yet he still won’t come to bed a little earlier (another fight we have bc he stays up playing games while I have a job) bc he needs time to ***. I *** hate men. I hate myself. I hate this female body. He won’t change his mind… I don’t think I can handle this for another week and a half.. he never even just puts his arm around me or cuddles me anymore…
we’ve been together for a year now. He used to never take his hands off me…
@0JayJayy0
That sounds really frustrating. I can understand why you're upset that he's not even putting his arms around you or cuddling you. It makes sense that the change in affection would leave you feeling unwanted or questioning whether you're attractive to him, but it doesn't mean you're disgusting or worthless. Periods are natural, and there's nothing wrong with your body.
You're right that he's allowed to be uncomfortable with intimacy during your period, but that doesn't mean your need for affection has to go unmet. Is it sex you're missing most, or do you also really miss the intimacy of being held, cuddled, and feeling wanted by him?
I have a lot of sexual trauma so the sex thing really cuts deep for me. I get so triggered and shut down when they tease you or start randomly acting like they want something but then walk away like it meant nothing.
But yeah I’d like him to at least look me in the eye once in a while. He used I call me ethereal and touch all over my while I cooked. Now it’s just games..
he also watches porn but won’t do anything with my stuff. I literally have an only fans. But he won’t even ask me to make him anything. And when I do send him ***, he criticizes it for bad quality or something. He’d rather touch himself to porn girls than touch me at all… my body isn’t good enough to look past a little blood…
@0JayJayy0
I can understand how the sex thing would cut deep for you since you have a lot of sexual trauma. It makes sense that being teased or having him act like he wants something and then walk away would trigger you and make you shut down. I can understand why that would be so hurtful.
I can also understand wanting your partner to look you in the eye and show you affection. You deserve to feel wanted and cared for. Do you know why he went from calling you ethereal and touching you all over to this? How long has this been happening, and have you told him how it makes you feel?
I can understand how him watching porn while not engaging with your content or being intimate with you would leave you feeling like you're not enough. I'm sorry he criticizes the things you send him instead of appreciating the vulnerability involved in sharing them with him. I can see why this would hurt, especially when you're wanting to feel desired by your own partner. His behavior doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your body.
