Sexual anxiety.
Hello there. My boyfriend watched porn because I wasn't ready to have sex yet. When we did eventually have sex he still continued to watch porn and compared me to the women he was watching. When I caught him in the act he said it was MY fault that he watched it because I wasn't experienced enough for him cause he had his expectations so high because of porn. Even though he also had no prior relationships. And now I still don't feel like he's happy with me sexually even though he is no longer watching porn. I'm scared that he'll go back to porn.
@intelligentAvocado8214 Porn creates unreasonable expectations for everyone and that is not your fault. It can serve as inspiration for fantasies or to meet personal sexual needs, but he needs to engage with you as a normal person and understand that porn is not realistic. I hope you are able to talk to him and stand up for yourself about what you feel comfortable exploring sexually and what you like. If he continues to put you down, it may be time to find somebody who appreciates you for you more.
Don't hold yourself to the impossible expectation that porn generates. Its not supposed to be a standard that is commonly met. The people in those videos are actors, and and are generally handpicked for what ever role they are playing just like the actors you would see in regular films and entertainment. Actors and actresses are made to be "perfect" and visually appealing for the sake of entertainment. They don't set the bar for how you should perceive yourself. Your boyfriend's expectations are unrealistic and he may not even realize that. He needs to understand that porn is generally fictitious and that it's damaging to you and to himself if he uses it as the basis for his expectations for sex. Sex is a skill and gets better with time and experience. If he is willing to make his expectations more realistic, then sex is something you two can learn together. If he continues to treat you like you aren't good enough, then consider leaving. Trying to fit into the mold he's created in his head will only damage your confidence and self-esteem. Be kind to yourself, you are #1 in your life before anyone else. Good luck.
To add to my previous statement:
You seem to have a bit of a negative view towards porn. Watching it isn't a bad thing, but becoming addicted to it and using it to set the bar is bad. In general though, it can be a valuable tool or just be good to help blow off some extra steam. A good and common use of it is to find new techniques and positions to try as well as the self-exploration of kinks before requesting them in the bedroom. In my personal experience, my husband watches very frequently (at least once a day), but it helps him keep his desires in check because frankly he's got a much higher libido than I do. So if you have an issue with your boyfriend watching it in general, maybe ask him why he does it. Just a little extra food for thought. But still don't allow him to put you down over it, he's thinking with the wrong head.
