Vaginisums
I recently found out I had vaginisums during a pelvic exam. Vaginisums are vaginal spasms that can cause tightness and pain when vaginal penetration is attempted. It can make it difficult or impossible to use tampons, have sex, and have pelvic exams. Causes include past trauma or emotional factors, but there can be no reason for it. The emotional aspect can be treated with therapy and the physical aspect can be treated with kegal exercises and dialators. Treatment success rate is very high, some sources citing it as over 90%.
I was never able to use a tampon or insert my fingers. It felt like I was hitting a wall. I thought that the problem would go away when someone else penetrated me for the first time. I recently went to the gynecologist the doctor wasn't able to penetrate me because I would be in so much pain whenever she touched me.
The idea of having sex or any kind of penetration has become nerve racking. Often I don't feel like I'll ever be able to have sex. I don't know where to start with recovery since I can't insert anything and I don't feel like I can flex the muscles. This makes dating intimidating and difficult. Finding someone who's okay with having a relationship without sex feels almost impossible sometimes.
I didn't find anything on this forum about vaginisums when I did a search. Does anyone else experience this problem on any level? Anyone who's recovered?
@Allright23 - While I don't have personal experience with vaginismus, I can relate to a lower level of pain and emotional blocking related to penetration that I've gotten through. And if you ever need someone to talk to or to support you through this, don't hesitate to reach out! <3
I believe myself has Vaginimus, my boyfriend have lived with me for 3 months now and we haven't managed penetration yet, however I am working on my own to open it up, at first I thought it would be impossible to get in even the tiniest of things, but now I can get in a smaller sized dildo, tough if it takes a bit to long in between the uses I gotta start from step 1 again, quiet the annoyance.
In my case I do have general anxiety and I happened to have a, well how to put it, dried out snootchiecooth, me and my boyfriend went to the gyn after unsucessful penetration attempts, pain and bleeding and she wasn't even able to look, as she tried to spread the "goodies" down there my skin cracked and it started to bleed, she recomended an oil which I am using now ( works like a charm ), however this fear of pain and bleeding caused my muscles to tense up even after the oil softened up and moistened my skin, it felt completly wrong to do something down there since it would hurt, why should you do something that hurts right? ( and I've never been sexually abused and such just to add that )
Start with your finger and you NEED to be aroused, never try it unaroused, use lube if needed ( and wash your hands, super important, I've accidentaly given myself quiet the nasty infection in a gland from masturbating with an unwashed hand... ), cut your nails, only enter fingers in your vagina with short nails, and most important, take your time, remember that the vagina is meant to puch out a baby, which is bigger then a penis, and a penis is bigger then a finger.
Get to know your body and trust it, eventually the muscles will relax, for me when I used that small dildo it kept hurting for a few times as I used it and then suddenly my muscles relaxed, just like that after 5-7 times of using the small dildo and there was no pain at all and I was also then able to enter a bigger dildo a bit, but then some stress happened and it got tense down there, so now I gotta restart this whole process.