2 in 1
This is a long story so please bare with me I was with a guy his name is O for 5-6 years and it was long journey he wasn’t completely honest in the beginning about his life he was very cold acting and nonchalant about everything he wouldn’t open up to me he wouldn’t talk on the phone much nothing I was basically trying to open him up he had a whole different agenda but yet I stayed once I found out one of big secrets I should’ve left but I stayed I found out a year later I been threw so much with this I tried and tired to move on with other people but I always found myself back to him he finally got his secret resolved he lost his father but my Iistening to other people I became cold like he was in the beginning I was trying to let him go so I met another guy his name is S he was the total opposite from him he was sweet affectionate loving he would admire go have so much fun but I started to see that it was he wasn’t responsible he would quit his job when he was upset or just didn’t show up he would break his phone when he got anger he didn’t have much motivation to move out and get his own from his moms house at the age 37 it’s like he doesn’t take life seriously so I began to see these things but meanwhile the other guy was more serious and responsible and has himself together I’m torn now because while I stopped dealing with O I broke up with him with him to be with S he was dealing with someone else and the girl is now pregnant she didn’t tell O right away she says she didn’t know she was pregnant this is going to be her 4th kid I know from women to women she knew she was she trapped him he says he was just trying to get over me and one thing lead to another and the girl said she took a pill but 4 months later she found out she was pregnant that hurt me because I know it’s all lies from her he wants to marry me and have a kid he just wants to be responsible for that baby it was mistake he doesn’t love her but S is still around and he’s hurt and angry at me because he saw me leave a car on Valentines Day I had went out to dinner with O to talk nothing more since then he lost his mind and became very aggressive and now he looks threw my phone get upset punches the wall he breaks his phone again he’s full of anger I’m torn between them both …..that basically sums up everything
@selfloveisthecure88
Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. I'll mention what I think about both below, hopefully it helps you make a decision.
It's a red flag the way O wasn't completely honest at the start, it shows he's willing to lie about a lot of things. This is a behavior he learned growing up, and often it comes across as manipulative. A person who lies can easily kill the trust of anyone. The way it's tough for him to open up is another red flag because it will be tough to know how he feels and it won't be easy to form a deep bond with him. It's so important to know about a person anniversaries because it can either make or break a relationship. I can tell he might become withdrawn when it comes to tough situations. I don't like the way he said "he says he was just trying to get over me and one thing lead to another and the girl", it comes across as not taking accountability for his own actions.
S seems to lack emotional self control, his anger is a deal breaker. It's important to look at how long a person has kept a job because it shows how they will deal with a relationships. The way he quit jobs out of anger shows he will more than likely be unreliable. and doesn't seem like this is a behavior he will change. It's mess up the way he broke his phone, this is a sign he was never able to fully expressed or control his anger throughout his childhood. I can tell they never allowed him to share his anger, instead they probably punished him and minimized how he felt. All women should avoid men who have anger issues because it will kill their safety. His anger will lead to controlling behavior, crazy behaviors, unpredictable behaviors, one minute okay/other angry, and it will make you walk on eggshells throughout the relationship.
In my opinion, these two guys are not good candidates to have a healthy relationship with. They don't seem to have the qualities and traits to make a healthy relationship work. I hope you are able to make a decision that best fits you.