8 month on- partners ex told me she was still in contact with him
There's so much information I can't possibly put it in 1 thread. Long story short..
I met my current partner, fell madly in love- like I never have before. Met his children, tried to become the best addition for them I can. Sold my house and moved into our own home together, we're now engaged. We have only been together just over 1 year so this has all been a whirlwind.
I thought he broke up with his ex partner over 3 month prior to me meeting him- later found out this was only around a couple of weeks (this explains the initial anger with me from the mother of his children) - here I was literally non the wiser until I found pictures with dates on his ex girlfriends social media.
8 month in his ex girlfriend emailed me to state she has been in contact with him the entire time and ha seven slept with him once 2 month into our relationship. Met on lunch hours and when I was away.
When approached all explained as manipulation from her who was threatening suicide if she wasn't updated with the children and that she needed 1 last night with him for closure so she could move on with her life but she then wouldn't stop messaging him and using that 1 night as blackmail- all up until he tried to stop responding and she then told me everything.
Although painful. I decided to accept and move on but I'm struggling. I am trying to trust but how can I? Am I being stupid for believing he really does love me. They haven't saw each other since but this is so hard to accept :(
@Ambrown1920
well, on the one hand he lied to you and was unfaithful, and on the other I do find his story and his explanation believeable. More than that, I can say that she has now very likely completely blown whatever sympathy and loyalty that he had left for her as the chilren's mother and his ex-partner.
I can understand that until he met you, her strategy for making the relationship continue past its sell-by date was by continuing as if nothing had changed, and that this was something that he probably found too difficut to challenge, although I suspect that the relationship had effectively finished long before. My guess is that it was not until he met you and he realised there was someone he wanted, and had a good reason to engage in the all-out war that this bitter woman has decided she wants, despite the effect on her children.
I hope that you will be able to get past this. That doesn't mean that he doesn't need to work hard regain your trust of course, but I hope that he will understand your need for reassurance and proof, and be very enthusiastic in providing you with his schedule, diary and text messaging records.
One thing that I think you should ask for is that he no longer sees her without you being present. It is a reasonable and reassuring request to make in the light of her revelations, and he may well welcome your support. It will be difficult and alkward, but I suspect that once the initial rage on her part has blown over it will become easier for you all.