8 years of relationship going to waste
My fiance and I have been together for 8 years we have experienced many ups and downs. We have been through tough times and been supportive of each other. We have a long distance relationship as we are Muslims and we cant actually move in with eachother. We are waiting to get married.
I think for the past 2 years now we have been through many terrible fights. I want to be fair and i know many of them were my fault and many were his. Recently we had a horrible fight and he decided to leave me it was painful the fight went on for a week or more. And i cant even explain how i stopped him i think i had a panic attack after thinking that he would leave me. His loss isnt something i can bear. But even though i stopped him i think of his faults and it bothers me that he never ever accepts his fault. He said too many hurtful things. It was my limit being tested over and over again.
After that he explained his issues and it decided to make things better for him. But i stop when ever i realise his lack of effort for me. He never does anything first for me to make me happy. He always says that do this then ill do something for u. I dont feel loved. I actually feel the opposite and this is stressing me out way to much im heart broken but i have no one to explain this to. He said that i should understand my toxicity and thats why i deserve this treatment. I cant get this phrase out of my mind.
@dingledangle1
Hello, thank you for sharing with us here. I can imagine why it must be so hard for you. From what I understood, he doesn't seem to understand and blames things on you a lot. (Correct me if I am wrong) You definitely don't deserve this treatment at all, esp if he doesn't try to understand even after you explaining it.
He doesn't and im so confused as in how to talk to him because he finds ways to make me the issue
@dingledangle1 Hi, I believe your experience is the same as many of us and it helps us a lot to know about your difficulties. I believe that we look a lot to the other for the source of our happiness and it seems that it depends more on ourselves. Do you think this makes any sense?
Yes it does. But now i feel like i have wasted 8 years on a man who seems to just hate me