Am I afraid of commitment or not into him?
Hello all,
I have been struggling for awhile now trying to understand how I feel about this guy I have been dating for the past month and a half or so. I really liked him alot when we first started dating without any doubt. We get along perfectly, same values and humor and everything. But the only problem is sometimes I don't feel super attracted to him sexually/physically even though I do find him attractive. Also, usually I feel super connected and happy when I'm with him but sometimes when I am with him I feel foggy and off. Sometimes I get irritated by the dumbest things. It's super hard for me to tell if this is me self sabotaging the relationship because I have never been in a healthy relationship or something good and I don't feel comfortable with it or if this is because I am just not that into him but I'm forcing it. Because vulnerable with him is super hard though as well and sometimes I do think it's the days being vulnerable feels hard that it's hard to be with him...
It's been a back and forth for awhile now and I think we both are a little exhausted. I don't want to lose him but I also don't know what to do.
Please help?!
Thanks!!
@loyalSugar8608 hi there, first of all thanks for sharing with us! It sounds like you're feeling a bit torn and not sure if what you are feeling has to do more with how you feel about him or just more to do with how you feel aside from him. Either way I think it is important to take your time and not make a decision until you are sure. How do you feel about taking some time to yourself and figuring out how you feel? How do you think he would feel about that? I want you to know that it's okay to be unsure and to take your time and really figure out what it is you feel. If you feel foggy sometimes when you are with him - try to figure out what is causing this. Is it just your mood or is it him that is doing something that irritates you? I think that if you are not always attracted to him that could mean you are simply just not in the mood for anything physical or it could also be the fact that you just aren't into him that much? When this happens to me and I feel a bit torn within my feelings I take some time away for myself and focus on myself and listen to myself. Don't be afraid to let go if your partner isn't satisfying you all the time or in all the ways. Two people can be compatible personality wise and not very compatible physically/attractive-wise. You mentioned that sometimes you are attracted to him and sometimes you aren't which makes me wonder if you are really attracted to him and if you are, then is it more your mood and how you feel? I know lots of questions but it's good to brainstorm and to think about all of these factors before you make a final decision. Perhaps if you spend a little time focussing on you and something you enjoy doing (apart from him) it will give you some space to de-stress and to think about what you really feel and what you wnat. Feel free to message me directly if you would like to chat more. It's really great that you have at least noticed how you are feeling and have made attempts to remedy this. Take care xo
