Am I creating problems? Am I crazy? Or is he just not telling the truth ?
I've been in love with my boyfriend for 4 years. He's everything I ever wanted. Supports me at everything I do and he's always right there behind me. However, lately it hasn't felt like he's there. He works from 6 am to 6 pm. He never texts me good morning anymore, doesn't call me babe or baby, he doesn't text me while he's at lunch, he doesn't even text me while he's out. It's already hard to see each other often so for him to not text me hurts. I wait for him all day to get a call or text but never do. He'll text me when he gets out but then says "I'm going out" or "I'm gonna help my brother out". He goes out with his coworkers so it makes sense that he'll go out right away after his shift ended but the brother one doesn't. If he doesn't text me I'm going to assume he isn't using his phone so when he tells me things like that I feel like he just doesn't want to talk to me during his lunch or break. He's also been close to this other girl. He went to Disneyland with her, he's had dinner with her just them two alone, and he's always talking to her. I ask him repeatedly if there's someone else, if he's lost interest, or if he simply just doesn't want me around. He always denies it and makes me feel like I'm crazy. He changed his passcode on his phone too. Am I crazy ? Am I just making things up in my head ? Or am I connecting the dots and he isn't man enough to tell me the truth after 4 years of being in love with him ?
Hmmm... Not sure how you would know he changed the Pass Code on his phone? Certainly hope your not 'checking' it. Just bc your in a relationship... that doesn't mean an invasion of Privacy is somehow ok. Hopefully this isn't the case
@ChromeLotus
no I'm not checking it but I just found it odd that he would change the code
@ChromeLotus
We're not here to judge the behaviour and actions of others.
@WildUnknown
Pointing out a particular course of action may not be the right one, is in No way 'Judging' someone. We ARE here to give feedback and share thoughts on the matter at hand
@ChromeLotus I think it was mostly the tone that sounded a little suspicious and admonishing. I've seen the 'you checked their phone? how dare you!' tsk-tsk/outrage sentiment before so I was edgy. Cheers
@itsokbuttercup
Being in the 'Am I the crazy one??' place in a relationship is never fun nor easy, and we've almost all been there. We don't want to be that annoying, suspicious, nagging, uptight partner, but we also can't help feeling like something's wrong, and so we get caught in doubt and perhaps insecurity. It sounds like this doubt and situation in general has been going on for long enough now with enough 'evidence' for you to be able to sit down with him and talk about it without having to feel like you're crazy and being too 'attacking' or irrational or whatnot. Even if it turns out that it was all simply a case of miscommunication and so on, and he did nothing wrong, no one can judge you or blame you for having the concerns/doubt and talk anyway - least of all him. You care about the relationship and something is making you feel really confused and/or negative, and you're reacting naturally by being concerned and wanting answers. At the very least, he will become aware that you feel like there is a problem, or something that could be worked on, and from then on you can develop the relationship. If after talking it out and making it very clear to him how you feel and why, he doesn't change his behaviour or make any efforts or accuses you of being crazy and refuses to understand where you may be coming from, then it's time to really evaluate the relationship wihout the guilt, doubt, or insecurity that you're just making things up and being the crazy one.
How do you think he would react to a 'serious' talk about it?
@WildUnknown
First off, thanks for reading my post. Second of all, I did have a serious talk with him and he didn't want to accept where I was coming from. He kept saying that I've done things like that before so why is it a problem if I've done it. I've never done the things he's done to me and if it were the case why would he want to do it to me? Once I realized that he wasn't changing his mind or at least trying, I did re-evaluate everything. Even though I love him deeply, I can't let someone have that power over me anymore. I can't let someone tell me "I am in love with you" while making me feel there was someone else. I was done and I let go.
@itsokbuttercup
It takes strength to realise when things are not going as well as we'd like and to move on from a relationship to put yourself and your well-being first. It sounds like you've made some good developments for yourself since your original post, and I hope you're doing as well as one can be at the moment after going through all that. :)
