Am i insecure or overthinking?
I’ve been with my boyfriend almost three months now, met online and knew each other for about a month before getting together. Our communication is very good and the relationship is good too.
I knew already he had talked to a lot of different girls before me and it didn’t bother me very much. He got out of a situationship a month and a bit before us getting together. They loved each other and had kinda been together a year and a bit but she had ended up getting with another guy and he moved past it. Before we initially got together he had mentioned he hadn’t blocked this girl because he wanted to be there if she ever needed him. I never really acknowledged this until a month and a bit ago.
The first issue was this girl called him drunk at 1 in the morning and he picked up. Meanwhile i was sat there at 1am writing him a paragraph about how i feel about him and all that kind of stuff as he had supposedly been asleep a few hours. They stayed on Facetime for about 5 hours according to him. I didn’t find out until 2pm that day and he even said he thought about lying to me about it and not telling me about the whole thing. He said during the call he told her all about me too and her reason for calling him was nobody else had answered her. We had a big fight and i was close to ending it. He said he had blocked her after i told him i’d end the whole thing if he didn’t.
The second was when he saw the girls new bf tag her in a comment on tiktok and thought he was funny to reply to the comment with his friend and troll them basically. She private messaged him and she blocked him after they talked. I kinda lost my shit cuz i believed we were done with her creeping back into the relationship. Managed to resolve this issue afterwards.
The new issue is him having so so so many girls on his snapchat. we met up a few days ago and it was great until he went on snap maps and all i saw was girls. and then when he scrolled on his recent on his snapchat and there was this girls name with a red heart emoji at the end. he had mentioned this girl before and says he only keeps her around for all the drama she tells him. He’s said in the past he’s not got the effort to go through his snapchat and delete all the girls off and he doesn’t have the effort to change names on his snap either.
Its all kinda built up recently and i don’t know what to do. I feel pathetic having to bring it up and i really don’t want to but i’m so lost with what to do.
This sounds like he's too kind-hearted. A soft spot in him towards females. He wants to be there for all those girls he's come across and want to become their saviour when they are in trouble. At least he is telling you these things, acting on it when you told him you'll end the relationship if he doesn't stop. Maybe this is his nature, to lend a hand to those that need help. It doesn't mean he's having a fling with them, and it's a good sign that he's telling you these things. He's being honest with you, of the thoughts with those girls. Three months into a relationship, it's still early. If this relationship is one that you both want to keep, you'll have to come up with a compromise. Something like he either has to stop, or do less of responding to those girls who contact him. In turn, you'll trust him more for what he claims his thoughts/relationships are like with those girls~
@Beans675
thank you!