Baby gender reveal issue.
Looking for opinions and/or advice. My wife and I, after over a year of trying and already going through one miscarriage, are now expecting our first child in October.
Two days ago she gets the blood test back and finds out the gender. I had asked not to find out via text so when she told me the results were in I asked her to keep it between us until I could come home and we share the info together. She replied "of couse"(with a heart emoji as well). A bit later I came home unexpectedly to change clothes as I was outside when a thunderstorm hit. I see on the chair is her laptop and it is open. We are both animal workers (vet tech and dog trainer) so we have lots of pets, some of whom are cats that pee on things like laptops (has happened before). I go over to close her computer for her and I see she had Facebook open and a message to a friend saying "HEALTHY BABY GIRL" right there on the screen. So I find out the gender of my one (and only, we are in our 40's) child via her FB message, that also confirmed she lied to me. I closed the laptop and she does not know I know and is still acting like she waited to tell me first. I feel sick, I feel cheated out of a once in a lifetime chance for us to share that moment together as parents. I don't think I can forgive this and don't know what to do. I won't leave her because of the baby but I surely feel different about her now. What do I do?
On one hand, maybe she was so used to telling her friend all kinds of things that she ended up telling that piece of news out of habit? And maybe she just felt like she couldn't contain her excitement? But then if she went ahead and pretended that she didn't slip up, that's...not good, but then again maybe she didn't want to confess it because maybe she thought it would ruin the supposed-to-be-happy moment?
Or maybe she was fully aware of what she was doing and it wasn't a slip up.
Maybe these bad feelings will become insignificant over time, but you might start wondering what else she might be lying about and those thoughts might start eating at you and making you feel worse toward her. Communication might help prevent it all from going downhill later on, but it's probably going to be awkward for both of you to discuss the situation. I guess you just have to weigh your options and figure out what's best.
