Being the other women, what a shit show
Hi everyone, I don't even know where to begin. I have gotten myself in a mess and I can't seem to get out. I'll try to make it short & sweet. 🥺
After I separated from my ex husband of 14 years I met this oh so charming man who was in my city working. He lived 8.5 hours from me. I fell head over heels for him. He was everything I ever wanted (so I thought). He was amazing, I guess you could say he loved bombed me. Big time. After working months in my city he goes back to his hometown.. I notice and I have this feeling something is off, especially when we are video chatting he looks nervous. I thought maybe I'm just in my head and it's nothing. My intuition was right. A woman had messaged me a few days after. Asking me why I'm talking to her "husband" (they aren't married) I don't reply, instead I confront him. He told me not to respond and it's nothing. His famous words it's nothing. Fast-forward to now, 4 years later. We are still together. Throughout the years we spend most of our time meeting in hotels and sometimes he comes here to my house. It just depends on where he's working. I'll go there to visit etc. I'm at the point or I have been for a while. I just want out. I have tried to leave a few times. He always manipulates me back in. One time I ended it he drove all those hours here and was waiting at my work and begged me to stay. Second time- same thing and chased me throughout my city, he was crying begging me not to leave. This guy is very controlling, wants to be on the phone 24/7, has to know everything I am doing, does not want me communicating with my kids father or friends. He has isolated me and he doesn't even fuckin live in the same state!! I have lost my job because of him . The list goes on. Like what the fuck am I doing.. I feel like when I leave him... Mv kids and i will have to go out of state.. I will have to do this on my own. I hope you can make sense of all of this. I just need someone to talk to you know. Or advice. please be kind.❤️
@faithfulBeach3776
It's really hard when we continue within a relationship after our eyes
have been opened. It does feel like a bit of a vicious cycle, right? It
can be hard to separate "habit" from "emotion" but making decisions does
sometimes require a very objective review that takes both of those
things off the table. You may gain some personal clarity by asking
yourself (and I think you've already expressed the answers in your post, but you need to get to the answers on your own): Is this relationship built on a foundation of respect? Is communication open and do you feel comfortable expressing your opinions and feelings? When you do disagree, does he hear what you are saying? Do you both compromise when there are conflicts, or is one person always the one to adjust to the other person's whim? At the end of the day, you and your children can remain in your state and hold your heads high, regardless of whether you fix the relationship or kick this individual to the curb. Take care, and be kind to yourself by following your heart.
@faithfulBeach3776- oh dear - sending you a big hug and a tubful of backbone. Sounds very toxic and controlling. Your gut knows the answer. No relationship should demand control of your life - who you see and how you spend your time. Connecting with one of the listeners here may also be an option for processing your relationship. Best of luck to you.