Can 2 broken people fix each other?

@greendream87

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

I met this guy who I can literally relate with everything. We started out as friends and we pretty much hit it off right away. (This can be good and bad. The good part is you two seem to have chemistry, but i can tell you two projected a lot of unmet needs on each other from the beginning) We tell each other every problems we have and things we normally cant say to others. (I can see it can be quite hard to share these things with other people because they might not have the empathy, understanding and consideration of you two feelings)He became the person I run to whenever I feel down and he does the same. Just recently he confessed that hes starting to like me and I told him the same. I asked him where do we go from there and he said he wants to pursue me.

Problem is hes still trying to move on from his ex (This is a sign he has not dealt with what happened with his ex, and often he might push it under the rug on order to not deal with what happen. If things get serious or things begin to go well is where he will act confused and back away because he is not over the ex) and I have relationship issues so were taking things slow. So basically were both really problematic people. He have some issues with himself and same with myself.

He has low self-esteem so sometimes he would always get so moody (This is a red flag here. There will be times where people might get moody, but in his case it means he has problems with emotions and get angry when people dont do what they want, and often it might be to sabotge what you two have) and acts cold (he tries to hide it but I still know when hes distancing himself). And I always try to get him to talk to me which he does after a lot of prodding from me. (This is a sign he tends to shut down when life gets tough, closeness issue, and often want to isolate due to the depression. He can't handle emotions when things gets tough, it shouldn't be where you are trying so hard to get him to talk)

And this has been going on frequently and I dont know what to do to reassure him. He always asks me why I stick with him (This definetly means he was never fully accepted or loved by his family. He only knows about abandonment and rejection, so it makes him have trust issues and wondering why people stay around him) and I always reassure him that I wont go and leave him. (You seem like a caring friend, but be careful when you say to him "I won't leave you" because his anxiety and insecurities will become overwhelming for you, and it will make you feel drained) Im not good at words so I always try my best to tell the right words cause I want to help him and this isnt easy for me cause I have problems of my own. (Its understandable how you feel, it can be tough supporting others when you are going through a lot. I do feel you are sacrificing your own mental health and pushing down how you feel on order to help him. You also have to put yourself as a priority, and taking care of yourself as well) I dont know if I can keep doing this and I dont know if this is healthy anymore. (We all need reassurance at times, but it cant be where its frequent. I do think this situation isn't healthy for you because no amount of words can soothe how he feels. He needs to seek therapy, and do self improvement on order to get past his insecurities.)

Sometimes I wonder if hes just attached to me because I was the only one there with him when he is at his lowest.

I dont want to leave and I promised that Ill always be there to support him but its taking its toll on me. (I can tell you value the friendship you have with him, but there's zero boundaries being placed here. You are allowed to express how you feel and how much you can talk about his issues. Its unreasonable to keep giving him reassurance when you feel overwhelmed)

He tells me not to distance myself (His abandonment issues are being triggered here, this might make him cling to you even more) and yet hes the one whos always distancing himself whenever his problems gets the better of him and the rejection he does sometimes really hurts. (Its completly normal that it hurts, its like this friendship is similar to an on/off kind of situation. People from a traumatic background have a very hard time dealing with tough situation, so their common response is to isolate or push under the rug on order to cope with how he feels)

I just dont know what to do anymore. I want to tell him this but I dont want to start another argument since recently we just had one again. (What was the argument about?)

Do you guys think this is healthy anymore? (It isn't healthy anymore for your mental health and well being)