Can I be happy again?
Me and my wife have been together for almost 5 years (dated 2, married 2 1/2). She struggles with severe depression and anxiety and she exhibits self destructive behavior when she gets in a rut. A few weeks ago she became extremely depressed and started going out partying, asked for a divorce and then she cheated on me. She came clean to me about it and told me it would never happen again and that she wanted to be with me forever. I'm trying to give her a second chance. I work out of state and she came to visit me for a week and we talked and had a good time together and now we are planning on getting an apartment here until my job is finished. I have been struggling with anxiety and maybe some depression lately and it has only gotten worse since she went back home. She seems like she is trying to do better and make things right but I'm afraid it will happen again or she will stop trying. I have lost all interest in my hobbies and I dont have any friends or family here, I work completely alone so I have no one to talk to except my wife. I used to love being alone, I used to do everything in my power to avoid human contact, but im afraid over the years I have become too emotionally dependent on my wife and gotten too used to being around someone all the time. If I thought I could find someone else I probably would but I have never been an outgoing person. I love my wife but I don't know if I can ever truly forgive and trust her again. I just want to be able to be okay with or without her like I used to be.
Hi @antisocialloner96
Sounds like you're in a tough spot at the moment with anxiety and signs of depression. But I'm glad you're thinking to take back control over your own life, thoughts and emotions.
What have your tried to work on your anxiety and depression?
@antisocialloner96,
I feel you, and your wife. That is a lot both of you are coping with. You both seem to love each other very much, as in, you might hurt each other, but you don't intend you. You can get so messed up that you unload on the one you love most, and on the one you love as your self, being you and your wife.
Have you ever considered getting professional help? I can relate to you, I got help, but too late to prevent damage being done, already having causes damage beyond repair.
I am also curious whether your wife has professional help/has considered professional help.
Getting an apartment together until your job is finished sounds like a great idea to me. Actually, if possible (as in: do make it happen), consider joint counseling. It might help to 1) understand each other better 2) make it easier to express to one another and improve communication 3) to get closer as you would both be working on similar issues, connected through the love for each other.
Don't forget to love yourself first, if you don't, you make it hard on yourself to truly love someone else, without needing, expectations, obligations, wishing on a star.
Last but not least, here's a blog from someone who has been struggling with depressions, and is open about challenges met, deep lows, et cetera. It has helped me, a lot:
https://www.storiedmind.com/about/
Take care, and permit love to rule, not fear.