Confused and hurting

@Mom2five37

It sounds like a very controlling and toxic relationship to me. I would talk to him, tell him your feelings, and if he can't accept that, leave him. If you haven't cheated, then you have nothing to worry about.

@Mom2five37

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

Im new to online forums never have reached out for advice or help in this manner before. Here goes my story ...My boyfriend and I started dating Aug 2019 ..we moved in together by October (Do you mean October 2019? if so things started way too fast) , things seem to go smooth for a while we got along great ...then he started getting mad/jealous over men commenting on my FB pics or even me having men on my FB so I deleted all of them ..(This is a sign he doesn't feel good about himself, good enough to have you and fears losing you. His behavior is a major red flag because it interferes with the relationship) .he doesn't want me talking to my kids father because he isn't a part of my child's life so he says we have no reason to speak ...(He fears losing you because of how painful it was in his past when he got abandoned, and now he is seeking to control how you interact with people.) he wanted me to get rid of all my social media so I did except for my FB . (His anxiety, anger, and fear of losing you doesn't give him the right to tell you to delete those people. He is trying to isolate you from anyone without thinking how it makes you feel) A few times my ex has reached out to me an I responded telling him to leave me alone or asking him why he is bothering me ..my current boyfriend got super mad about that ...he considers it cheating .(There's a chance he could be the one cheating because of the way he is accusing you of this. He is projecting his own fears and actions on you) I changed my phone number so ppl cannot contact me, exes or anything like that. (I understand the reason behind this, but you are allowing him to control every aspect of your life. You have a self to protect, have you asked yourself "Am i personally okay with this?", "is this a decision im making or his fears pushing me to do this?) In the beginning of our relationship I told some of my current boyfriend's secrets to my ex best friend an he also holds tht against me telling me I betrayed his trust . (I can see why he would feel this way since he trusted you, but i can tell he will hold on this forever and will use it against you. He doesn't have the ability to let go) So ff to last week I got messages on FB from his ex it was screenshots of him talking to her and she told me that they slept together. (He was cheating on you, but then accused you of cheating. This is the typical behavior of someone projecting on you and not taking responsability for his actions) When I seen all those I was immediately upset and I contacted my child's father and another guy I used to talk to ...i know I was wrong so when he gets home he admits to everything and he finds out I sent the msgs I did and he flips out. Calling me a cheating whore etc , see how the tables turned on me ?? (This is a very entitled behavior "Im allowed to cheat on you, but Im very sorry of doing this to you, however you are the worst if i perceive you are cheating on me". He will feel entitled on cheating on you, but will be very cold and hard when he thinks you do. We are dealing with an emotionally immature man and very manipulative who distort reality)

Continued ... So now everyday since then I can't stop thinking about it , I can't quit asking questions and he just gets angry ..(I think is normal to wonder why he did what he did, and at this time you are looking to get those answers. His anger tells me he has a hard time communicating like an adult, and his irritability will kill all safety in this relationship) he says I'm beating him down but what I did goes unnoticed..(I can tell that at the moment you are looking to feel loved and reassured since you feel disconnected, but his behavior is making you feel worst about things) I try an tell him that I didn't do what he did so its different levels of hurt ..(I understand you are trying to defend yourself, but you are forgetting and overlooking what he did...He cheared, manipulated and controlled you all this time.) .he doesn't care he just keeps saying look at what you did to me ...(He knows he cheated and hurt you, but doesn't have the emotional maturity to accept what he did wrong. The moment he accepts his guilts is where he will fall apart, so he seeks to blame you. He is pretty much distorting reality, gaslighting you and manipulating you here) I'm so hurt an confused like I don't know even what to do . (This relationship is beyond toxic...he is making you question your own reality and thoughts. The partner you are with is someone who simply cant attach well and wont be able to give you what you are looking. The relationship needs to end for your own well being and mental health) I'm not sure this post even makes any sense...