Confused and unfaithful
Hi everyone,
Im 27 years old married for almost 1 year to my college love. I have fallen in love with a coworker and he also is in love with me. Weve been having a secret affair for 9 months... I love my husband but the passion and Romance has been dead since the beginning but it never bothered me because we are like best friends. Now my secret lover is bringing me back to life again and the butterflies are all consuming. Shit is messed up, I cry often and Im sad that I turned out to be such a bad person. I used to be faithful and loyal and trustworthy now I have no idea who Ive become. Im addicted to my work lover and he seems to have mutual feelings for me. Since the day we met or even made eye contact there was a spark so fierce I cant even fully understand the fireworks and tension between us ... but Im married to my best friend... who I do love but Im not I suppose in love with? Anyone have advice or experience with this kind of situation? Help?
@tragickitty would a divorce help so you can move on i would be honest with your husband on whats going on then decide what to do from there.
@kitkat34567 technically Im awful and dont deserve my husband so it is probably the right thing to do... but I also fear its just an insane phase Im going through? Maybe Im just being selfish and stupid?
@tragickitty
I don't think you're awful and you shouldn't judge yourself too harshly. In a perfect relationship there would be no need for the co-worker. Assuming the connection you have with them is entirely chemical, in a perfect relationship you'd speak to your husband before anything happened and explain and he'd understand and thank you for telling him and you'd have tried to get things back on track. Has he even noticed you're behaving differently?
You can't help feelings. They're not logical and are hard to resist. But it is guilt that makes you feel responsible and you should try to think objectively about why you are where you are and not take all the responsibility. Some, but not all.