@Sianna24
So my boyfriend and I havent been dating very long but he means so much to me already and I genuinely do love him. (I can tell you are projecting unmet needs on this person, starved of love and connection) This is my second time feeling such strong emotions. Ive had many guys come in and out of my life leaving pain and trauma. But I know he has better intentions. Although he and I have constant issues which he tends to take out on me mentally (This tells me he let things build up inside of him, becomes resentful about it and then he explodes on you. I also believe its to push you away) and then feels guilty for making me feel less than what I am although it is still constant. (Sure...He feels so guilty that he hasn't modify his behavior yet. I believe he tends to dismiss your feelings and puts you down which is abusive) )I know I cant be without him (Your happiness, feeling loved, and well being is starting to revolve around him, it shouldn't be this way because you will end up allowing his mistreatment) nor the other way around but I dont know what to do. Whenever we try to talk it out it only gets worse (You are both are triggeting each other here, which leads me to believe you two have separated issues that are causing problems in the relationship) and I can feel my mental state disintegrating and I havent felt this down in so long (This is part of the disconnection you feel with him because of the way he is treating you, it makes you feel intense emotional and physical pain with anxiety) but when Im with him I feel alive and content? (This is mainly because he is meeting some of your unmet needs, and it makes you feel less lonely) Like nothing in the world can hurt me. I just dont know what to do anymore. We are on and off alright but whenever sometimes I really do question if we can continue at this rate. (This is a common issue with people who have a closeness issue like he has. You will notice how things will be okay for 2-5 weeks, then he will start to create some type of drama, and then he will back away which will trigger your anxiety and abandonment issues. People like him have a very hard time when it comes to dealing with emotions and feelings) He gets mad (This is how he learned to get his needs met, and to make you do what he wants) and the yells at me even if isnt directed towards me (This means he lets things build up inside, and yells to push you away. The way he is handling this shows he is not behaving like an adult) but yet hes patient with me when I need it and I..I jus dont know. Help?