Constantly comparing myself and feeling like I am not enough
I think I am just looking to rant and maybe get some opinions, reassurance or advice on how to stop overthinking things.
I recently saw some videos and photos of my partner with his ex-girlfriend on social media. Up until now I have tried to avoid hearing about or seeing these things because I know it makes me anxious.
Background: They broke up 5-6 years ago but I am aware that this was his first (and only) serious relationship before me (lasting 3 years or something). She is also the only other person he has been intimate with.
He says he broke up with her because they grew apart and were wanting different things and tries to reassure me that I am special and the one he wants. However, when I saw all of these pictures of them happy and all the fun memories they have... it makes me feel very anxious and insecure. They did a lot of partying with their friends, and went to music festivals together. I feel like that contrasts a lot with him and I where we go to animal parks, do gardening, go on hikes and play games together.
He says that the partying was part of the reason they broke up because she started drinking more, partying and smoking and he wasn't into that. But I still find myself thinking about them and wondering how I compare to her. The photos on social media show them to be so happy and couple-y and they look like they are having so much fun! I feel like I won't measure up to those fun times. I am just not sure how to get past this and feel secure and confident in myself.
@loyalTalker2147, You have your fears and doubts but at the same time you also know the problems and consequences related to overthinking . It is not easy looking at someone you love right now , being very close with someone else , even though , the relationship is done with. Like you said , you are in the now, in the present with him and living a life you and he are contended with . Here are some links which might help you . Plus feel free to connect to any of the listeners here to share your thoughts. Sometimes , just speaking up , helps you to see things clearly.
https://www.7cups.com/help-managing-emotions/
https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php