Could use some help…
I was in a very toxic relationship about 5 months ago. And recently started talking to this guy. He was very affectionate with me in the beginning and as time went on and he opened up more about certain thing I found out he was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. He told me some days he wants a relationship and other days he doesnt. And I could feel some distance he put between us, if that makes sense? Anyways we Both have narcissistic parents who have been cheating on their partner and we also both have been cheated on. He told me that he’s afraid after all the heartbreaks he’s been through. I like him a lot but it scares me too because I don’t want to get my heart broken either. I think I kind of screwed up though recently when I got really scared and told him I don’t want to talk anymore. Because We went on a date and he did communicate he wasn’t feeling well. But my anxiety was worried the whole time because he wasn’t talking or being affectionate. But in all honesty I do want to talk to him. He called me after a couple of days and we started to talk again. I can feel he put me a mile away from him but at the same time wants to talk to me. I don’t know what to do to fix things.
please let me know your thoughts.
Hmm it seems to me that he’s probably not ready to jump into a relationship just yet if he feels like some days he wants one and some days he doesn’t which might explain why he’s so hesitant and putting distance between you.
Committing to somebody who’s not 100% in it might cause more harm than good but if you really like him and he likes you then see how it goes??? Keep it lighthearted.
The fear of getting your heart broken can make things more tricky as you will always be thinking what if’s - but honestly thinking like that will only make the fear worse. I say get out there and live your life!!! Lol
But if he continues to send you mixed signals then I think its best not to pursue it because at the end of the day its not a game and feelings can be hurt so I think be careful but maybe go with the flow and see how it goes???
Thank you I really needed this!
The heart wants what the heart wants.
But, that said, i think that you need to think firstly and foremostly about your own health. I totally get it when we fall for people who are maybe not the best suited to us. Forgive me for saying, but you need someone with no issues who is willing and able to support you on your healing journey.
I have been there and ultimately, you will both get hurt. Remain as friends if you can, be kind to one another, but speaking as someone who has been there, you need to heal first before you are ready to open up your vulnerabilities and your delicate side to another person. I am sorry, because i know that this is not what you want to hear. But, as an older woman....please trust me that the person you need will be there for you, when the time is right. You need to heal and you cannot heal your partner, no matter how much you may want to. He has to forge his own path. Heal, take time and then maybe see how you both feel. But, you need to focus on your own journey first.
Then if you still wish to, see where he's at, in his healing path. But, you cannot heal yourself and another simultaneously. If you are meant to be together then you will. But, please focus on yourself first. Apologies if any of this sounds harsh, it's just that i've been there and learnt some hard lessons. Sending love xxxx
