Daughter drama
Our youngest daughter who is 24 is blaming her mental health issues on her dad and now me since "I'm taking his side"and she won't tell us what the specifics are. Just blame being thrown at us. She's always been our quiet one and we've tried to respect that and not push for thinking we would push her away. Her dad is a very strong personality which I'm hearing her say it's controlling. He is pushy but I know the man well enough to know he questions things to make sure you know your options because in his mind he's being helpful. He is an electrical engineer by background and I've learned that's how their brain works. Anyway. Daughter and her husband blasted us and blamed us for everything. I am feeling useless and hurt but I really want to help but know I can't unless she receives it. We both love her dearly but not really liking this side of her.
@goodWalker4788
So you know how your husband's brain works and you've used the word side. You saying that you understand his side. What steps have you taken to understand your daughter's side and the way her brain works? However, I really think it is important in issues like this not to use the word side. It seems like she said it first, but you can still avoid using it. I think it's great that you gave her space and didn't push because you thought that is what she wanted. I think that shows that you are a very caring mother, but now it's time to see it from your daughter's perspective and you need to get it. Ask for it calmly and don't blame. Don't even mention how your husband's mind works and his perspective until you get hers. I wish you luck and don't give up! It's a hard position to be in.
@akay06 yeah side wasn't best choice of wording even if she is using it too. I've tried to get her to open up to me. She won't share anything. I want to know her perspective of this and what issues she's saying I "took dad's side and never mine". I honestly cannot think of one. I know she and her dad had heated arguments in her teens years. I stepped back and let them deal with it because I thought 1. I would talk to her dad in private if needed. 2. I didn't want to join the fray to avoid looking like we were ganging up on her. Two against 1. I think for my own heart and mental health I need to just let this subside. I need to realize it's out of my hands as well.