Depression & our relationship
Im in a relatively new relationship with a great guy. The past 7 months have been great, with him early on disclosing his battles with depression. Up until know there has only been a few minor flare ups of his depression. The past weeks however, things have gotten bad for him, causing us to barely be in contact with one another. He messaged me saying his depression was the reason hed barely spoke, but havent heard from him in 4 days.
My real question is on the best way to support him through this - do I continue to give him space, or should I send another message asking him how he is. There is some distance and work commitments on both sides which prevent going to see him rather than just messaging. My fear is of overwhelming him in a time social interactions are overwhelming. It hurts me to think hes alone when hes at his lowest point but would hate to cause him anymore stress by making him feel he has to interact when he has no energy
thank you!
@shanjred I am sorry to hear about it Shan and appreciate your concern.
Probably you may try to communicate with him and let him know he can turn up for support to you anytime. We all need a good support system. Probably it may help you both to open up and build this relationship stronger.
I appreciate your efforts in reaching out and sharing your story. Thank you. We all are here to support you.
@shanjred
hey there, I'm in a situation quite similar to yours, and the only actual advice I could give you would be to ask him directly what kind of support he needs from you. I am in a long-distance relationship with a severely depressed man, and when he feels really down he doesn't communicate very much. Initially I thought his silence meant he simply didn't want to talk to me or hear from me, and that I shouldn't contact him if he wants to be left alone. But like you I wasn't really sure how to handle the situation, and at some point I realised I should ask him rather than assuming what he wants or doesn't want. That's when he told me that it actually helps him a bit to hear from me and get emails and messages throughout the day. Somehow it helps him to distract his mind from negative thoughts, at least for a few minutes. So every day I keep sharing random things about my life, things I stumble upon etc, even though I find it difficult to do so without getting any response or reaction. But I know that it helps him and that he feels supported that way. Another thing that I do, instead of constantly asking him how he is doing (because that forces him to say again and again that he's not feeling well), is just to tell him that I think about him and that I'm there for him whenever he needs to talk, etc. But this is how he needs me to support him, and your partner may be completely different, so the only way to find out is to ask him. :)
Hope that helps and that you will figure out together how to communicate in these difficult times.
@shytomato things have still been difficult since I posted this, but I'm going to keep trying. Thank you so much for sharing your story, I very much appreciate it and hope things are going alright with you x
@shytomato
I agree with your advice to ask. I'm suffering from depression CAUSED by my relationship, and yet still him asking me how he can help is very much appreciated (I have told him to please ask when he's unsure many times).
